Economy Jokes / Recent Jokes

Banks want to return $68 billion in bailout money to the government. They were upset at all the hidden fees.

NORTH POLE (API) - MICROSOFT announced an agreement with Santa Claus Industries to acquire Christmas at a press conference held via satellite from Santa’s summer estate somewhere in the southern hemisphere. In the deal, Microsoft would gain exclusive rights to Christmas, Reindeer, and other unspecified inventions. In addition, Microsoft will gain access to millions of households through the Santa Sleigh.
The announcement also included a notice that beginning December 9, 1997, Christmas and the Reindeer names would be copyrighted by Microsoft. This unprecedented move was facilitated by the recently acquired MS Court. Microsoft stated its commitment to “all who have made Christmas great, ” and vowed to “make licensing of the Christmas and Reindeer names available to all. ” It is believed that the guidelines for licensing these names, due before Halloween, will be very strict.
When asked “Why buy Christmas? ” Bill Gates replied “Microsoft has been working on a more...

The courts allowed the bankruptcy proceedings for Chrysler to go forward this week. The bankruptcy was approved after the judge told Chrysler to sit in a room for a few minutes while the judge went to talk to his manager.

An economist is a trained professional paid to guess wrong about the economy. An econometrician is a trained professional paid to use computers to guess wrong about the economy.

Talk is cheap. Supply exceeds Demand.

Bentley`s second Law of Economics: The only thing more dangerous than an economist is an amateur economist!

Berta`s Fundamental Law of Economic Rents.. "The only thing more dangerous than an amateur economist is a professional economist."

Definition: Policy Analyst is someone unethical enough to be a lawyer, impractical enough to be a theologian, and pedantic enough to be an economist.

Three econometricians went out hunting, and came across a large deer. The first econometrician fired, but missed, by a meter to the left. The second econometrician fired, but also missed, by a meter to the right. The third econometrician didn`t fire, but shouted in triumph, "We got it! We got it!"

Q: How more...

With so many people unemployed, they will have to hire people to process unemployment claims.

Politics
Israel`s economy is in a bad way, inflation is getting higher and immigrants are flooding in from all over the world. Problems, problems, problems, but what should they do? So the Knesset holds a special session to come up with a solution.
After several hours of talk without progress one member, Yitzhak, stands up and says "Quiet everyone, I`ve got it, I`ve got the solution to all our problems. We`ll declare war on the United States."
Everyone starts shouting at once. "You`re nuts! That`s crazy!"
"Hear me out!" says Yitzhak. "We declare war. We lose. The United States does what she always does when she defeats a country. She rebuilds everything; our highways, airports, shipping ports, schools, hospitals, factories, and loans us money, and sends us food aid. Our problems would be over.
"Sure," says Benny, another minister, "that`s if we lose. But what if we win?"

On a plane bound for New York, the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class section and requested that she move to economy since she did not have a first class ticket. The blonde replied, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to New York, and I’m not moving. ” Not wanting to argue with a customer, the flight attendant asked the copilot to speak with the woman. The copilot went to talk with the woman, asking her to move out of the first class section. Again, the blonde replied, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to New York, and I’m not moving. ” The copilot returned to the cockpit and asked the captain what he should do. The captain said, “I’m married to a blonde, and I know how to handle this. ” He went to the first class section and whispered into the blonde’s ear. She immediately jumped up and ran to the economy section, mumbling to herself, “Why didn’t anyone just say so? ” Surprised, the flight attendant and the more...