Hollywood Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    These great questions and answers are from the "Hollywood Squares" game show. Responses were spontaneous and clever, not scripted and dull as they are now.
    Q. Do female frogs croak?
    A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their heads under water long enough.
    Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
    A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
    Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
    A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems like it sometimes.
    Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
    A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
    Q. According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think he's attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
    A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.
    Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
    A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
    Q. In Hawaiian, does more...

    Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss, and fifty cents for your soul.

    2005 Ryan Seacrest gets star on Hollywood Walk of Fame
    2006 Bruce Willis gets star on the sidewalk formerly known as the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

    "Land of the Lost" continues to get horrible reviews. So being full of old dinosaurs isn't the only thing it has in common with the Republican Party.

    From modernhumorist.com
    "One Hollywood exec said he wouldn't be surprised if the movie rights to 'the election of the century' were already being negotiated. 'It's got all the ingredients—a mysterious electoral college, weird tabulating procedures, missing ballots, lawsuits—as well as photogenic lead characters'."
    - Variety
    Dir. M. Night Shyamalan
    In this supernatural thriller from the creator of "The Sixth Sense," an election is not what it seems. Gore (Bruce Willis) is haunted by the memory of losing Palm Beach County by a narrow margin. His son, Al Gore III (Brad Renfro) tells him, "I see missing ballots." An election law expert (Samuel L. Jackson) tries to find the truth. Please do not reveal the surprise ending (Gov. Carnahan is dead!).
    How the Grinch Stole the Election
    Dir. Ron Howard
    Ralph Nader (Abe Vigoda) plots to steal away as many votes as possible from the gentle Gores in Goreville (Tennessee). more...

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