Massachusetts Jokes

Alabama:
At Least We're not Mississippi
Alaska:
11,623 Eskimos Can't be Wrong!
Arizona:
But It's a Dry Heat
Arkansas:
Litterasy Ain't Everthing
California:
As Seen on TV
Colorado:
If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother
Connecticut:
Like Massachusetts, Only Dirtier and With Less Character
Delaware:
We Really Do Like the Chemicals in our Water
Florida:
Ask Us About Our Grandkids
Georgia:
Without Atlanta we're Alabama
Hawaii:
Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru
(Death to Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)
Idaho:
More Than Just Potatoes...
Well Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good
Illinois:
Please Don't Pronounce the "S"
Indiana:
2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
Iowa:
We Do Amazing Things With Corn
Kansas:
First Of The Rectangle States
Kentucky:
Five Million People; Seven Last Names
Louisiana:
We're Not All Drunk Cajun more...

The NFL's New England Patriots had a video camera confiscated during their 38-14 win against the Jets on Sunday- after a coach on their sidelines was suspected of stealing Jets play calls. The Patriots admit taping the game, but only to win America's Funniest Home Videos.

Massachusetts Governor, Mitt Romney, decried stem-cell research. He said that his administration and the Bush administration are taking steps to stave off an ‘Orwellian’ future. He described a future with laboratories growing tray upon tray of new embryos. He’s obviously confusing Orwell’s vision of the future with Aldous Huxley’s, Brave New World. Wherein children are born from embryos in a factory according to the economic need of the society. An Orwellian future would be a government that twist language to meet their political goals, spies on its people, equates war with faith, and prohibits dissent

The following are actual stories provided by travel agents:
I had someone ask for an aisle seat so that their hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.
I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information then she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Capecod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her response... click.
A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map, and Florida is a very thin state."
I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see England from more...

Senator Ted Kennedy made a speech the other day endorsing Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama.

 
When candidate Hillary Clinton was asked how this would affect her relationship with Kennedy in the Senate she said, "We'll drive over that bridge when we come to it."