Package Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    First Time

    Hot 2 years ago

    I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so. I went in to buy a package of condoms. There was a beautiful woman behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it. She handed me the package and asked, if I knew how to wear one.
    I honestly answered, "No."
    So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped over her thumb, She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So she looked all around the store. It was empty.
    "Just a minute," she said, and walked to the door, and locked it.
    Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. "Do these excite you?" she asked.
    Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was nod my head. She then said, it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and laid down on a desk.
    "Well, come on", she more...

    Kids and condoms

    Hot 7 years ago

    A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year-old son.
    They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?". To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe sex."
    "Oh I see.", replied the boy, pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school." He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and ask, "Why are there 3 in this package?"
    The dad replies, "Those are for high-school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday and one for Sunday."
    "Cool!" says the boy. He notices a 6-pack and asks "Then who are these for?"
    "Those are for college men", the dad answers, "TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday and TWO for Sunday."
    "WOW!" exclaimed the boy;" Then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12-pack.
    With a sigh, the dad replied, "Those are for more...

    The following are actual stories provided by travel agents:
    I had someone ask for an aisle seat so that their hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.
    I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information then she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Capecod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her response... click.
    A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map, and Florida is a very thin state."
    I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see England from more...

    The following are stories provided by travel agents:

    * I had someone ask for an aisle seat so that their hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.

    * A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost information, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"

    * A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that it was not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map, and Florida is a very thin state."

    * A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8: 20 a. m., and got into Chicago at 8: 33 a. m.? I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she could not understand the more...

    A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, 'What are these, Dad?'
    To which the man matter-of-factly replies, 'Those are called condoms, son... Men use them to have safe sex.'
    'Oh I see,' replied the boys pensively. 'Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school.' He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, 'Why are there 3 in this package.'
    The dad replies, 'Those are for high school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday.'
    'Cool!' says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, 'Then who are these for?' 'Those are for college men.' the dad answers, 'TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday.'
    'WOW!' exclaimed the boy, 'then who uses THESE?' he asks, picking up a 12 pack. With a sigh, the dad replied, 'Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March... '

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