Torah Jokes / Recent Jokes

A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a rabbi, if they could discuss the use of the car. His father took him to his study and said to him, "I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study the Torah more, get your hair cut and we'll talk about it."
After about a month, the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss the use of the car. They again went to the father's study where his father said, "Son, I've been very proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you've studied the Torah diligently, but you didn't get your hair cut!"
The young man waited a moment and replied, "You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that. You know, Samson had long hair, Abraham had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Moses had long hair...." To which the Rabbi replied, "Yes, and they WALKED everywhere they went!"

Meyer, a lonely widower, was walking home along Delancey Street one day wishing something wonderful would change his life, when he passed a Pet Store and heard a squawking voice shouting out in Yiddish, "Quawwwwk. .. vus machst du. .. yeah, du. .. outside, standing like a schlmiel. .. eh?"
Meyer rubbed his eyes and ears. He couldn't believe it. The proprietor sprang out of the door and grabbed Meyer by the sleeve. "Come in here, fella, and check out this parrot. .."
Meyer stood in front of an African Grey that cocked his little head and said, "Vus? Ir kent reddin Yiddish?"
Meyer turned excitedly to the store owner. "He speaks Yiddish?"
"Vuh den? Chinese maybe?"
In a matter of moments, Meyer had placed five hundred dollars down on the counter and carried the parrot in his cage away with him. All night he talked with the parrot in Yiddish. He told the parrot about his father's adventures coming to America, about more...