Thunder Jokes / Recent Jokes
There was a tradesman, a painter named Jack, who was very interested in making a dollar where he could. So he often would thin down his paint to make it go a wee bit further. As it happened, he got away with this for some time.
Eventually the local church decided to do a big restoration project. Jack put in a painting bid and, because his price was so competitive, he got the job. And so he started, erecting the trestles and putting up the planks, and buying the paint and thinning it down with turpentine.
Jack was up on the scaffolding, painting away, the job nearly done, when suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder. The sky opened and the rain poured down, washing the thin paint from all over the church and knocking Jack off the scaffold to land on the lawn.
Jack was no fool. He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty, so he fell on his knees and cried, "Oh, God! Forgive me! What should I do?"
And from the thunder, a mighty Voice spoke, more...
One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second.
You can listen to thunder after lightning and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it, you got hit, so never mind.
When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions.
While the earth seems to be knowingly keeping its distance from the sun, it is really only centrificating.
Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change into a sun in the daytime.
A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go.
Many dead animals of the past changed to fossils, others preferred to become oil.
Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they are there.
Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make out the numbers.
I am not sure how clouds more...
Cunning Chinese scientists invented fireworks centuries before Francis Scott Key wrote the Star Spangled Banner. Their favorite little sparkler was a plunder-triggered land mine known as
"Underground Sky-Soaring Thunder." Anyone that plucked up the plunder got triggered sky high on a wave of thunder. Floating marine mines were invented by the Chinese in the 14th century, using inflated ox bladders. In this century they have cunningly invented marine "Smart" Mines too, mines smart enough to border on the brilliant.
Actually, they extend a little beyond the border. Chinese Smart Mines can tell the difference between Carriers and Love Boats. They can even spot the X in the plosion where the damage would be the most exasperating. That's pretty sophisticated for a government that pays people to cut grass with stainless steel scissors.
Smart Mines are dangerous even if they don't get loose into the open sea. Recent history tells us that more...
Thor, the Viking God of Thunder, and his pal Odin were up in
Valhalla, when suddenly Thor said to Odin, "It's been a long
time now. I really need to have sex."
Odin stood and pondered for a while, before replying, "Go
to Earth, O Thor, and find thyself what they call a' lady of
joy' and treat her to your manly pleasures."
And this Thor did. The next day, he came back up to see
Odin, and told him of the previous night's events. "My
friend," he said, grinning from ear to ear, "It was
wonderful. We had passionate sex 37 times.."
"37 times!" exclaimed Odin. "That poor woman! Mere
mortals cannot endure such treatment. You must go and
apologize this instant!"
So Thor went back down to earth and found the
aforementioned prostitute, saying. "I'm sorry about last
night, but you see, I'm Thor..."
"You're Thor?" shouted the girl. more...