Thang Jokes / Recent Jokes

Redneck's Ode to a ValentineKudzu is green. My Dog's name is Blue. And I'm so danged lucky to have a sweet thang like you. Yore hair is like cornsilk, A-flappin' in the breeze. Softer than Blue's And without all them fleas. You move like the bass which excite me in May. You ain't got no scales But I luv you anyway. Yo're as graceful as okry jist a-dancin' in the pan. Yore as fragrant as Mountain Dew Right out of the can. You have all yore teeth For which I am proud. I hold my head high When we's in a crowd. On special occasions, When you shave yore armpits, Well I'm in hawg heaven. I'm plumb out of my wits. And speakin' of wits, You got plenty fer shore.' Cuz you are my woman. I can't ask fer more. Like a good roll of Duct Tape Yo're there for yore man To patch up life's toubles And stick' em in the can. Yo're as strong as a four-wheeler Racin' through the mud. Yet fragile as that singer Named Naomi Judd. Yo're as cute as a Junebug A-buzzin' overhead. You ain't mean like no far ant On more...

Collards is green, my dog's name is Blue
and I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.
Yore hair is like cornsilk a-flapping in the breeze.
Softer than Blue's and without all them fleas.
You move like the bass, which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales, but I luv you anyway.
Yo're as satisfy'n as okry jist a-fry'n in the pan.
Yo're as fragrant as "snuff" right out of the can.
You have some'a yore teeth, for which I am proud;
I hold my head high when we're in a crowd.
On special occasions, when you shave under yore arms,
well, I'm in hawg heaven, and awed by yore charms.
Still them fellers at work, they all want to know,
what I did to deserve such a purty, young doe.
Like a good roll of duct tape yo're there fer yore man,
to patch up life's troubles and fix what you can.
Yo're as cute as a junebug a-buzzin' overhead.
You ain't mean like those far ants I found in my bed.
Cut from more...

Collards is green,
my dog's name is Blue
and I'm so lucky
to have a sweet thang like you.
Yore hair is like cornsilk
a-flapping in the breeze.
Softer than Blue's
and without all them fleas.
You move like the bass,
which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales
but I luv you anyway.
Yo're as satisfy'n as okry
jist a-fry'n in the pan.
Yo're as fragrant as "snuff"
right out of the can.
You have some'a yore teeth,
for which I am proud;
I hold my head high
when we're in a crowd.
On special occasions,
when you shave under yore arms,
well, I'm in hawg heaven,
and awed by yore charms.
Still them fellers at work,
they all want to know,
what I did to deserve
such a purdy, young doe.
Like a good roll of duct tape
yo're there fer yore man,
to patch up life's troubles
and fix what you can.
Yo're as cute as a more...

Collards is green,
My dog's name is Blue
And I'm so lucky
To have a sweet thang like you.

Yore hair is like cornsilk
A-flapping in the breeze.
Softer than Blue's
And without all them fleas.

You move like the bass,
Which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales
But I luv you anyway.

Yo're as satisfy'n as okry
Jist a-fry'n in the pan.
Yo're as fragrant as "snuff"
Right out of the can.

You have some'a yore teeth,
For which I am proud;
I hold my head high
When we're in a crowd.

On special occasions,
When you shave under yore arms,
Well, I'm in hawg heaven,
And awed by yore charms.

Still them fellers at work,
They all want to know,
What I did to deserve
Such a purdy, young doe.

Like a good roll of duct tape
Yo're there fer yore man,
To patch up life's troubles
And fix what you more...

Year after year Bubba's wife pleaded with him
to take her fishing but he kept telling her
she would not enjoy it. She, finally, wore him
down, he consented, and early one morning they
took off to the lake.
They had not been there very long when the fish
began biting. Almost as fast as they cast, a
fish would bite, and they reeled it in. After
catching their limit, Bubba said,
"Martha, sweet thang, I'm sorry. You've been good
luck and I'm gonna bring you with me the next time.
If you'll mark the spot where we caught all these
fish, we'll go home."
On the way home, Bubba turned to Verna Lou and said,
"Sweet thang, how did you mark the spot were all
the fish are so next time I'll know?"
"Bubba, darlin', I put a big 'X' on the side of
the boat right down closest to the water."
"Sweet thang, that's about the dumbest thing I ever
seed you do. Don't you know that won't work? more...