Hick Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Here is a little test that will help you decide

    You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.

    You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

    What do you do?
    Democrat's Answer:

    Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

    Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?

    Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

    Could we run away?

    What does my wife think? What about the kids?

    Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

    What does the law say about this situation?

    Does the Glock have more...

    A farmer drives across his field one day in his tractor, when half ways across the field the tractor breaks down. "Damn it" he said.

    He sees his wife in the farm yard feeding the chickens, he catches her attention and shouts to her and signals with his hand that he needs a pair of pliers to fix the engine in his tractor.

    His wife cannot hear him and raises her arms in the air to indicate this. The farmers shouts over again louder this time and signals with his hand that he needs a pair of pliers to fix his tractor.

    This carries on for a while with the farmer and his wife until eventually she makes out what he is saying.

    As soon as she realized what he was saying she signaled back. She put both hands on her breasts, then on her crotch and then on her backside.

    The farmer looked at her with a very puzzled stare, he couldn't believe what she was doing. His wife repeated this over and over until eventually the farmer gave up more...

    A farmer walked into a drug store and said to the pharmacist,' I want me one of them thar condoms with pesticides on it. Where do I find' em?'

    The pharmacist replied,' Oh sir, you must mean that you want the condoms with SPERMICIDE, not pesticide. They're on aisle 4.'

    'No, no, I want me them thar condoms with PESTICIDE on it,' growled the farmer.

    'Sir,' said the pharmacist, exasperated from explaining,' PESTICIDE is for killing insects, SPERMICIDE is for killing sperm. I'm sure that you mean spermicide instead of pesticide.'

    'Listen here,' argued the farmer,' my wife's got a bug up her ass and I'm a goin' huntin' for it. Like I said, I want me one of them condoms with PESTICIDE on it!'

    What do you call 32 hicks in a room?

    A full set of teeth.

    English..... I Love You
    Spanish..... Te Amo
    French...... Je T'aime
    German...... Ich Liebe Dich
    Japanese.... Ai Shite Imasu
    Italian..... Ti Amo
    Chinese..... Wo Ai Ni
    Swedish..... Jag Alskar Dig
    Eskimo...... Nagligivaget
    Greek....... S'Agapo
    Hawaiian.... Aloha Wau la Oe
    Irish....... Thaim In Grabh Leat
    Hebrew...... Ani Ohev Otakh
    Russian..... Ya Lyublyu Tyebya
    Albanian.... Une Te Dua
    Finnish..... Mina Rakkastan Sinua
    Turkish..... Seni Seviyorum
    Hungarian... Se Ret Lay
    Persian..... Du Stet Daram
    Maltese..... ien Inhobbok
    Catalan..... Testimo Molt

    Redneck..... Nice Tits

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