"Pesticide/Spermicide" joke

A farmer walked into a drug store and said to the pharmacist,' I want me one of them thar condoms with pesticides on it. Where do I find' em?'

The pharmacist replied,' Oh sir, you must mean that you want the condoms with SPERMICIDE, not pesticide. They're on aisle 4.'

'No, no, I want me them thar condoms with PESTICIDE on it,' growled the farmer.

'Sir,' said the pharmacist, exasperated from explaining,' PESTICIDE is for killing insects, SPERMICIDE is for killing sperm. I'm sure that you mean spermicide instead of pesticide.'

'Listen here,' argued the farmer,' my wife's got a bug up her ass and I'm a goin' huntin' for it. Like I said, I want me one of them condoms with PESTICIDE on it!'

A guy says to his friend, "I can't remember if the doctor told me my wife has AIDS or Alzheimer's."
His friend says, "It's simple. Drive her to the other side of town. If she finds her way home, don't fuck her."

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A Scotsman was shipwrecked and finally washed ashore on a small island. As he regains consciousness on the beach, he sees a beautiful unclad nymphet standing over him. She asks,' 'Would you like some food?'' The Scot hoarsely croaks,' 'Och, lassie, I havna' ittin a bite in a more...

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I had the wife in stitches last night.

That'll teach her to overcook my steak.

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Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes? If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed!

{A} Almost boobs...
{B} Barely there
{C} more...

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A young couple on the brink of divorce visit a marriage counsellor. The counsellor asks the wife what is the problem.

She responds, "My husband suffers from premature ejaculation."

The counsellor turns to her husband and inquires, "Is that more...

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billy:boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Funny Joke? 14 vote(s). 64% are positive. 1 comment(s).