"A real Quaker" joke

There was a clerk in a small town general store in the South. One day, a tall man entered the store and began filling a shopping cart with items.

This man was so distinctive in that he could have been the official spokesperson for Quaker Oats. He was dressed in black, very tall and had that hat just like the Quaker Oats guy wears.

Well, the clerk had never seen a Quaker before, let alone talked to one. When the man reached the counter with his selections the clerk could hardly contain himself. "Are you a Quaker"? he asked as he was trying to ring up the merchandise.

"Yes," the tall man said with a little edge in his voice.

"No joke?" asked the clerk, "You're really a real Quaker?"

The man, looking a little more perturbed, said, "Yes, I am a real Quaker."

"Wow!" the young clerk said, "I never seen a real Quaker before. Would you say something in Quaker talk for me?" asked the clerk.

The tall man ignored this request and waited for his merchandise to be tallied up.

As clerk finished ringing up the sale he said, "Please mister, say something in Quaker talk?"

The man finally leaned over the counter in a gesture of secrecy. The clerk leaned forward in order to hear the quiet reply.

The man said, "Screw Thee."

A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands more...

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A Sri Lankan is calmly having his breakfast when an American, typically chewing gum, sits down beside him. The Sri Lankan ignores the American who begins to chat:

The American: Do you eat that bread-entirely?
The Sri Lankan: Of course!
The American: We do more...

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Your Mamma's so fat, when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!

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98

Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and
asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I
turned around and walked back out and never went back My husband didn't
say a word...
he more...

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