Terry Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Dear Mom and Dad,
    Our scoutmaster told us all to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are OK. Only one of our tents and two of our sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily none us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Chad when it happened.
    Oh yes, please call Chad's mother and tell her he is OK. He can't write because of the cast. I got to ride in one of the search and rescue jeeps. It was neat. We never would have found him in the dark if it hadn't been for the lightning. Scoutmaster Long got mad at Chad for going on a hike alone without telling anyone. Chad said he did tell him, but it was during the fire so he probably didn't hear him. Don't worry it didn't hurt anything very much, just burned part of the chow hall. Scoutmaster Long said we will have to wash the black stuff off of the meat that used to be in the cooler but he said it would be alright. Did you know that if you put gas on a fire, the gas can will blow more...

    One evening Mike went over to his friend Terry's house to play cards with some friends.

    Mike sat directly across from Terry's wife. Mike dropped a card on the floor and bent down to pick it up. When he looked across the table he saw that Terry's wife had her legs open and no panties on. He sat up and was flushed.

    He went into the kitchen to get a drink of water. To his surprise Terry's wife had followed him into the kitchen and said, " Did you like what you saw?" Mike said "Yes I did." She said, Well you can get more than that but it will cost you $500." So Mike thought about this financial situation and said, "O.K." She said, "Come here tomorrow at 2:30 because Terry will be at work then." Mike said, "I'll see you then."

    The next day, Mike came over, they had sex, he paid her, then he left. Later, Terry came home and asked, "Has Mike been over here today" She said, thinking she had been more...

    Brian: What kind of dog is that? Terry: A police dog. Brian: Are you sure, it doesn`t look much like a police dog. Terry: That`s because it`s a plain-clothes police dog.

    Terry and Debbie were camping with their parents deep in the woods. How far is it to town? Terry wanted to know. Six miles, said Debbie. Thats too far to walk, Terry replied. Its not too bad, Debbie said. We can each walk three miles!

    Florida State football coach Bill Peterson: "You guys line up alphabetically by height." He also said, "You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle."
    Mike Tyson, about writer Wallace Matthews: "He called me a rapist and a recluse. I'm not a recluse."
    Weightlifting commentator Pat Glenn: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing."
    Alan Minter: "There have been injuries and deaths in boxing, but none of them serious."
    Football coach Bill Peterson: "Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl."
    Basketball player Jason Kidd: "We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees."
    Soccer coach Ron Greenwood: "I don't hold water with that theory."
    Baseball player Pedro Guerrero, on sportswriters: "Sometimes they write what I say and not what I mean."
    Tennis more...

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