Sport Jokes

I put a hundred pounds on a horse.
The fucking thing collapsed.

A man phoned his wife from the office, "Honey, I have the chance to go fishing for a week. It's the opportunity of a lifetime, but I have to leave right away. Pack my clothes, my fishing equipment, and especially my blue silk pajamas. I'll be home soon to pick them up."
He rushed home to pick up his things, hugged his wife, apologized for giving her such short notice and hurried off.
When he returned a week later, his wife asked, "Well, dear, did you have a good fishing trip?"
"I sure did," he replied. "The fishing was great, but you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas."
"No, dear, I didn't," the wife replied with a sly smile. "I put them in your tackle box!"

Three Browns fans were standing in line at a convenience store complaining about how the Steelers made it to the Super Bowl instead of their beloved Browns.
"I blame the management staff," said the first, "because if they would sign eleven new players we could be a great side."
"I blame the coach and the players," said the second, "because if they would make some effort they might at least score a few touchdowns."
"I blame my parents," said the third, "because if I'd been born in Pittsburgh instead of Cleveland, I'd be supporting a decent team!"

Once upon a time, long, long ago there was a season when neither the Browns nor the Steelers made the post season playoffs. It seemed so unusual that the management of both teams got together and decided that there should be some sort of competition between the two teams, because of their great rivalry. So, they decided on a week long ice fishing competition. The team that catches the most fish at the end of the week wins.
So on a cold freezing day on Lake Erie they began their contest.
The first day after 8 hours of fishing the Browns had caught 0 fish and the Steelers had 100. At the end of the 2nd day the Browns had caught 0 fish and the Steelers 200.
That evening the Browns coach got his team together and said, "I suspect some kind of cheating is taking place." So the next morning, he dressed one of his players in black and yellow and sent him over to the Steelers camp to act as a spy. At the end of the day he came back to report to the coach. The coach more...

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a NY METS fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were Met fans too.

Not really knowing what a METS fan was but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks. There is, however, one exception. A girl named Lucy has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.

"Because I'm not a METS fan,"

Then, asks the teacher, what are you?"

"Why I'm proud to be a Yankees fan," boasts the little girl. The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red.

She asks Lucy why she is a Yankees fan. "Well, My Dad and Mom are Yankee fans, and I'm a Yankee fan too,"

The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?"

A more...