Riots Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people - Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle"They're multipurpose. Not only do they put the clips on, but they take them off." - Pratt & Whitney spokesperson explaining why the company charged the Air Force nearly $1000 for an ordinary pair of pliers."The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep." - Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on Larry King Live"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees." - Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president." - Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents"When more and more people are thrown out of work, unemployment results." - Former U.S. President Calvin Coolidge"It's like deja vu all over more...

    Great Thinkers of Our Time?
    Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
    Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."
    - Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest
    "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
    - Mariah Carey
    "Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are."
    - Matt Lauer on NBC's Today show, August 22
    "I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law."
    - David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering more...

    Great Thinkers of Our Time?
    Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
    Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever,
    because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live
    forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live
    forever."
    - Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest
    "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the
    world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that
    but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
    - Mariah Carey
    "Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same
    reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered
    other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are."
    - Matt Lauer on NBC's Today show, August 22
    "I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law."
    - David Dinkins, New York more...

    Great Thinkers of Our Time? Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would liveforever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not liveforever."- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over theworld, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like thatbut not with all those flies and death and stuff."- Mariah Carey"Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the samereactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discoveredother similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are."- Matt Lauer on NBC's Today show, August 22"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law."- David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his more...

    "I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people" -- Former U. S. Vice-President Dan Quayle

    "They're multipurpose. Not only do they put the clips on, but they take them off." -- Pratt & Whitney spokesperson explaining why the company charged the Air Force nearly $1000 for an ordinary pair of pliers.

    "The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep." -- Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on Larry King Live

    "We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees." -- Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks

    "I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president." -- Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents

    "When more and more people are thrown out of work, unemployment results." -- more...

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