Racism Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

    Dear Star Savior,

    Hi. I'm actor Charlie Sheen. In some angry voice mail I sent my ex-wife Denise Richards in 2005, I used the N-word and the C-word. The message was leaked onto the Internet this week, and I'm catching a lot of heat for it. I have apologized for my choice of words, but I'm not sure that was enough. What should I do?

    Dear Charlie,

    I'm OK with you hitting your ex-wife with the N-word and C-word, but your voice mail is a sign of a problem: Technology is ruining racism and sexism.

    It’s sad. There are people who have never used a slur face-to-face, the way the pioneers did it. Back then, showing hate was an event, something to plan a day around. But now, people like you just fire off some e-mail or voice mail, throw in a halfhearted slur or two, then go on with their lives. It's just another task on your to-do list: "Buy Batteries. Lunch Meeting. Hate."

    But you can use your celebrity to help turn things around. more...

    Taking a few crumbs to Tashlich from whatever old bread is in the house lacks subtlety, nuance and religious sensitivity. Instead, this coming Rosh Hashanah consider these options:
    For ordinary sins, use White Bread
    For exotic sins, French Bread
    For particularly dark sins, Pumpernickel
    For complex sins, Multi-grain
    For twisted sins, Pretzels
    For tasteless sins, Rice Cakes
    For sins of indecision, Waffles
    For sins committed in haste, Matzah
    For sins committed in less than eighteen minutes, Shmurah Matzah
    For sins of chutzpah, Fresh Bread
    For substance abuse, Poppy Seed
    For committing arson, Toast
    For committing auto theft, Caraway
    For being ill tempered, Sourdough
    For silliness, Nut Bread
    For not giving full value, Shortbread
    For jingoism, Yankee Doodles
    For excessive use of irony, Rye Bread
    For telling bad jokes, Corn Bread
    For hardening our hearts, Jelly doughnuts
    For being money hungry, Enriched B

    British media on Saturday welcomed the eviction of a reality TV show contestant accused of racism and bullying, but criticized the television channel over a show that has whipped up an international storm.

    "Celebrity Big Brother" has dominated headlines in Britain and India this week after former dental nurse Jade Goody and other contestants ganged up on Bollywood star Shilpa Shetty, calling her "the Indian" and "Poppadom" and saying "She should f... off home."
    Mass-circulation newspapers aimed their headlines at Goody, with the Sun declaring "Goody Riddance," the Mirror saying "A Bigot and a Fake," and the Daily Sport leading with "Exclusive Upskirt Footage of Jade Leaving The House."

    One man (lets call him Johnny) came to gun shop.
    J(ohnny): I want a pistol
    S(alesman): Choose from this wall (points at wall full of pistols)
    J: (points at biggest pistol) I want this,
    S: An .44 Magnum? And for what purpose?
    J: For shooting cans.
    S: (points on smaller handgun) For shooting cans is the best this one.
    J: (points again on .44) No, I want this one.
    S: And what cans will you shoot at?
    J: Um...Mexi-cans, Portori-cans, Afri-cans...

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