Mail Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A blonde went out to her mail box and looked in, closed the door and went back in the house. A few minutes later she went out and looked in the mail box again.
    She did this several times and her neighbor that was watching her said: "You must be expecting a very important letter today the way you keep looking into your mail box."
    The blonde answered, "No, I am working on my computer and it keeps telling me that I have mail."

    prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: "Dear
    Husband, I have decided to plant some lettuce in the
    back garden. When is the best time to plant them?"
    The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read
    all mail, replied in a letter: "Dear Wife, whatever
    you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where
    I hid all the money."
    A week or so later, he received another letter from
    his wife: "Dear Husband, You wouldn't believe
    what happened, some men came with shovels to the house,
    and dug up the entire back garden."
    The prisoner wrote another letter back: "Dear
    wife, now is the best time to plant the lettuce."

    Always walk with a document in your hands:
    People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the cafeteria. Those with a newspaper in their hands look like they're heading for the bathroom. Above all, make certain you carry loads of stuff home with you at night. This will generate the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.
    Use computers to look busy:
    Any time you use a computer, it looks like 'work' to the casual observer. You can send/receive personal email, chat and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These are not exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about but they aren't bad either. When you get caught by the boss, and you *will* get caught, your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable more...

    Art of paper folding. In order to obtain a nice and effectiveness result, put the floppy in the disk drive after folding it several times in different directions. With a little luck, you should be able to get it jammed. Now, ask yourself. How can your disk get damaged if you can't even get it out of the drive?
    Use cigarettes or anything that could be burnt. When you are smoking, blow directly to your disk. In that way, you will be able to destroy it soon, and if you are lucky, damage the drive as well.
    If you don't have any at home, you can use a stapler, a clip, or simply write down on the disk label with a hard point pencil or pen. This wonderful method of "caring" for disks also often gives you a pretty bite-like design on the remaining pieces of the disk.
    They are wonderful. You can find them in the telephone, in some paper weights, and stuck on the frige door. If you can't find any, you can leave the floppies on more...

    Q: Why did the witch's mail rattle? A: It was a chain letter.

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