Presses Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man takes his rabbit to the vet and asks "Is it dead?"
The vet looks, and says "Yes".
The man then asks for a second opinion, at which point the vet presses a button under his desk and in walks a labrador dog.
He goes over to the rabbit, sniffs at it, shakes his head and walks away.
The vet then presses another button scruffy old moggy who sniffs the rabbit, paws at it, attempts to hunt it and then shakes it's head.
The vet then says to the man "That will be

One day John decides to invite Mark on a trip on his private jet. Whilst on this luxury aeroplane Mark asks where the toilet is. John shows him and says to him "inside there are 3 buttons, whatever you do don't press the third one." Mark proceeds to the toilet and does his business. Whilst sitting on the toilet he presses the first button. Suddenly his privates are cleaned thoroughly. He enjoys this and presses the second button. Dryers appear and dry his privates. He is intrigued to find out what button 3 does, so he pushes it. The next thing Mark sees is John staring at him... "what happened?" Mark asks shakily. "Well you pressed the third button and now you are in hospital." "Why do my privates hurt so bad?" Mark asked anxiously..John replies "Well you activated the automatic tampon remover."

A man takes his rabbit to the vet and asks "Is it dead?"
The vet looks, and says "Yes".
The man then asks for a second opinion, at which point the vet presses a button under his desk and in walks a labrador dog.
He goes over to the rabbit, sniffs at it, shakes his head and walks away.
The vet then presses another button scruffy old moggy who sniffs the rabbit, paws at it, attempts to hunt it and then shakes it's head.
The vet then says to the man "That will be

One day John decides to invite Mark on a trip on his private jet. Whilst on this luxury areoplane Mark asks where the toilet is. John shows him and says to him 'inside there are 3 buttons, whatever you do dont press the third one.' Mark proceeds to the toilet and does his business. Whilst sat on the toilet he presses the first button. Suddenly his privates are Cleaned thoroughly. He enjoys this and presses the scond button. Then dryers appear and dry his privates. He is intrigued to fin out what button 3 does. The next thing mark sees is John staring at him... 'what happened?' mark asks shakily. Well you pressed the third button and now you are in hospital. ''Why do my privates hurt'' mark asked anxiously..John replies ''Well you activated the automatic tampon remover.''

Saddam Hussein and Bill Clinton meet up in Baghdad for the first round of talks in a new peace process. When Bill sits down, he notices three buttons on the side of Saddam's chair. They begin talking. After about five minutes Saddam presses the first button. A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches Clinton in the face.
Confused, Clinton carries on talking as Saddam laughs.
A few minutes later the second button is pressed. This time a big boot comes out and kicks Clinton in the shin. Again Saddam laughs, and again Clinton carries on talking, not wanting to put off the bigger issue of peace between the two countries.
But when the third button is pressed and another boot comes out and kicks Clinton in the privates, he's finally had enough, knowing that he can't do much without them functioning well. "I'm going back home!" he tells the Iraqi. "We'll finish these talks in two weeks!"
A fortnight passes and Saddam flies to the United more...

Mullah Mohammed Hasan Akhund, the deputy Taliban leader, and George W. Bush agree to meet in Kabul for the first round of talks in a new anti-terrorism process. When George sits down, he notices three buttons on the arm of Akhund`s chair. They begin talking. After about five minutes Akhund presses the first button. A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches Bush in the face. Annoyed, Bush carries on talking as Akhund laughs. A few minutes later the second button is pressed. This time a big boot comes out and kicks Bush in the shin. Again Akhund laughs, and again George carries on talking, not wanting to put off the bigger issue of peace between the two countries. But when the third button is pressed and another boot comes out and kicks Bush square in the privates, he`s finally had enough. "I`m headin` back home!" he calmly tells the Afghan. "We`ll finish these talks in Washington in two weeks!" A fortnight passes and Akhund flies to the United more...