Peace Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Saddam Hussain approached God and asked him "When will peace return to my country ?" God answered
    "You can never see peace in your country during your life time"Saddam wept bitterly and walked away.
    Nawaz Sharif approached God
    "When can I see a united Pakistan (with Kashmir) ?"God said
    "You can never annex Kashmir during your life time"Sharif wept bitterly and walked away.
    Next our Laloo Prasad Yadav approached God "When will Bihar become a civilized state ?"
    God wept bitterly and said
    "I can never see that happening even during MY life time"

    "It`s good to see so many friends here in the Rose Garden. This is our first event in this beautiful spot, and it`s appropriate we talk about policy that will affect people`s lives in a positive way in such a beautiful, beautiful part of our national - really, our national park system, my guess is you would want to call it."-George W. Bush, Feb. 8, 2001 "We`re concerned about AIDS inside our White House - make no mistake about it." -George W. Bush, Feb. 7, 2001 "There`s no such thing as legacies. At least, there is a legacy, but I`ll never see it." -George W. Bush, speaking to Catholic leaders at the White House, Jan. 31, 2001 "I appreciate that question because I, in the state of Texas, had heard a lot of discussion about a faith-based initiative eroding the important bridge between church and state." -George W. Bush, speaking to reporters, Washington, D. C., Jan. 29, 2001 "I am mindful not only of preserving executive powers for myself, more...

    #1 Once you have their money... never give it back.
    #3 Never pay more for an acquisition than you have to.
    #6 Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
    #7 Keep your ears open.
    #8 Small print leads to large risk.
    #9 Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
    #10 Greed is eternal.
    #13 Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
    #16 A deal is a deal... until a better one comes along.
    #18 A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.
    #19 Satisfaction is not guaranteed.
    #21 Never place friendship above profit.
    #22 A wise man can hear profit in the wind.
    #27 There's nothing more dangerous than an honest business man.
    #31 Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother... insult something he cares about instead.
    #33 It never hurts to suck up to the boss.
    #34 Peace is good for business.
    #35 War is good for business.
    #40 She can touch your lobes but never your latinum.
    #41 Profit is it's own more...

    From the book,' Dave Barry Turns 50'

    1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.

    2. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe' Daylight Saving Time'.

    3. People who feel the need to tell you that they have an excellent sense of humor are telling you that they have no sense of humor.

    4. The most valuable function performed by the federal government is entertainment.

    5. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

    6. A penny saved is worthless.

    7. They can hold all the peace talks they want, but there will never be peace in the Middle East. Billions of years from now, when Earth is hurtling toward the Sun and there is nothing left alive on the planet except a more...

    Three nurses died and went to Heaven, where they were met at the Pearly
    Gates by St. Peter.
    To the first, he asked, "So, what did you used to do back on Earth? Why
    do you think you should be allowed to come into Heaven?"
    "I was a nurse at an inner city hospital," she replied. "I worked to bring
    healing and peace to many sufferers, especially poor, helpless children."
    "Very noble," said St. Peter. "You may enter." And in through the Gates
    she went.
    To the next, he asked the same question, "So, what did you used to do?"
    "I was a nurse at a missionary hospital in the Amazon basin," she replied.
    "For many years, I worked with a skeleton crew of doctors and nurses who
    tried to reach out to as many people across numerous tribes, with a hand
    of healing and peace, and with the message about God's love."
    "How touching," said St. Peter. "You, too, more...

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