Plant Jokes / Recent Jokes

Jones is checking out of a hotel when suddenly he hasto take a shit real bad.The toilet in his room isn't working, so he bolts downto use the lobby Men's Room, but all of the stalls areoccupied, so he runs back up to his room, and indesperation, he drops his pants, uproots a plant, andtakes a shit in the pot. Then he puts the plant back inthe pot and leaves.Two weeks later, he gets a postcard from the hotel thatsays, "Dear Mr. Jones, All is forgiven. Just tell us...where is it?"

An old man lived alone in Idaho. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, Bubba, who used to help him, was in prison.

The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his predicament.

"Dear Bubba, I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me.

- Love, Dad"

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

"Dear Dad,

For HEAVEN'S SAKE, Dad, don't dig up the garden! That's where I buried the GUNS!

- Love, Bubba"

At 4 A. M. the next morning, a dozen FBI agents and local police officers showed up and dug up the entire area without finding any guns. They apologized to the old man and left.

That same day the old man received another letter more...

Submitted by Darcy

An old man lived alone in Idaho. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, Bubba, who used to help him, was in prison

The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his predicament.

Dear Bubba,

I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me.

Love, Dad

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Dad,

'For HEAVEN'S SAKE, Dad, don't dig up the garden! That's where I buried the GUNS!'

Love, Bubba

At 4 A. M. the next morning, a dozen FBI agents and local police officers showed up and dug up the entire area without finding any guns. They apologized to the old man and left.

That same day the old man received more...

Q: How do you plant dope?
A: Bury a blonde.
Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave to her.
Q: How do you get a blondes eyes to twinkle?
A: Shine a torch in her ears.
Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.
Q: How do you kill a blonde?
A: Put spikes in their shoulder pads.
Q: Have you heard what my blond neighbor wrote on the bottom of her swimming pool?
A: No smoking.
Q: What does a blond do when someone says its chili outside?
A: She grabs a bowl!

A sale representative stops at a small manufacturing plant in the Midwest. He presents a box of cigars to the manager as a gift.

"No, thanks," says the plant manager. "I tried smoking a cigar once and I didn't like it."

The sales rep shows his display case and then, hoping to clinch a sale, offers to take the manager out for martinis. "No, thanks," the plant manager replies. "I tried alcohol once, but didn't like it."

Then the salesman glances out the officer window and sees a golf course. "I suppose you play golf," says the salesman. "I'd like to invite you to be a guest at my club."

"No, thanks," the manager says. "I played golf once, but I didn't like it."

Just then a young man enters the office. "Let me introduce my son, Bill," says the plant manager.

"Let me guess," the salesman replies. "An only child?"

A sale representative stops at a small manufacturing plant in the Midwest. He presents a box of cigars to the manager as a gift.
"No, thanks," says the plant manager. "I tried smoking a cigar once and I didn't like it."
The sales rep shows his display case and then, hoping to clinch a sale, offers to take the manager out for martinis. "No, thanks," the plant manager replies. "I tried alcohol once, but didn't like it."
Then the salesman glances out the officer window and sees a golf course. "I suppose you play golf," says the salesman. "I'd like to invite you to be a guest at my club."
"No, thanks," the manager says. "I played golf once, but I didn't like it."
Just then a young man enters the office. "Let me introduce my son, Bill," says the plant manager.
"Let me guess," the salesman replies. "An only child?"

A sales representative stopped in at a small manufacturing plant. He met with the plant manager and presented a box of cigars to him as a gift.
"No, thank you," said the manager. "I did try smoking a cigar once, but I didn't care for it."
The sales rep then showed his display case and, hoping to make a sale, offered to take the manager out for a drink.
"Thanks, but I tried alcohol once and didn't like it," the manager replied.
As the salesman glanced out the window, he happened to see a golf course. "I guess you play golf. I'd really like to invite you to be a guest at my club sometime," he said.
"Thank you," the manager said, "but I played golf once and I didn't like it."
Just then, a young man entered the office. "Allow me to introduce my son, Bob," the manager said to the salesman.
"Let me guess," replied the salesman, "An only child?"