Plant Jokes / Recent Jokes

A prisioner in jail received a letter from his wife:
"I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?"
The prisioner, knowing that the prison guards read all the mail, replied in a letter:
"Dear Wife, whatever you do, DO NOT touch the back garden! That is where I hid all the gold."
A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife:
"You wouldn't believe what happened. Some men came with shovels to the house, and dug up the whole back garden."
The prisoner wrote another letter:
"Dear wife, NOW is the best time to plant the lettuce!"

Q.Why do we plant bulbs?
A.So the worms can see in the dark!

Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

The best time to plant an oak tree is 20 years ago, the next best time is right now!

1. Why are mosses so grouchy when they all lie on the same plane?
I guess they just like to Complanate.
2. How do botanists send mail?
Through the compost office.
3. Why did the plant eat meat?
It was coniferous.
4. How do relatives of weasels pollinate a plant?
They make it Ferretile.
5. The botanist was eaten by a cul-lion.
6. What do botanists run up to get excercise?
Hilum.
7. Which botanist is a Senator?
Senator Hilum Clinton.
8. Is a botanist from down South a Hilum Billy??
9. What part of a flower is in a car?
A Calyx converter.
10. What does a botanist studying jagged margins shoot from her bow?
Erose.

How do you plant dope?
Bury a blond.

A prisioner in jail received a letter from his wife: "I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?" The prisioner, knowing that the prison guards read all the mail, replied in a letter: "Dear Wife, whatever you do, DO NOT touch the back garden! That is where I hid all the gold." A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife: "You wouldn't believe what happened. Some men came with shovels to the house, and dug up the whole back garden." The prisoner wrote another letter: "Dear wife, NOW is the best time to plant the lettuce!"