Organs Jokes / Recent Jokes

The external organs of a body were fighting over who should be boss. The brain said, "I should be boss, since I control what the person thinks." The hands said, "I should be boss because I do almost everything for the person."The legs declared, "I shuld be boss since I carry the body and all the weight is on me."So they went on, each stating their qualities and uses. Then the Asshole spoke up, "I think I should be boss, because.."He had not finished when everyone else started laughing at him. "You, an asshole, be the boss? You gotta be kidding!"The asshole was very unhappy, and he closed himself up. The body soon suffered a terrible constipation, and the organs could not take it anymore. "Ok, ok, you're the boss!" they gavein. So the asshole became the boss of the body. The moral of the story: You don't need brains to be a boss, you just need to be an asshole.

The external organs of a body were fighting over who should be boss.The brain said, "I should be boss, since I control what the person thinks." The hands said, "I should be boss because I do almost everything for the person."The legs declared, "I shuld be boss since I carry the body and all the weight is on me."So they went on, each stating their qualities and uses.Then the Asshole spoke up, "I think I should be boss, because.."He had not finished when everyone else started laughing at him. "You, an asshole, be the boss? You gotta be kidding!"The asshole was very unhappy, and he closed himself up.The body soon suffered a terrible constipation, and the organs could not take it anymore. "Ok, ok, you're the boss!" they gavein. So the asshole became the boss of the body.The moral of the story: You don't need brains to be a boss, you just need to be an asshole.

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was in charge.
"I should be in charge," said the brain, "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."
"I should be in charge," said the blood, "Because I circulate oxygen all over, so without me you'd all waste away."
"I should be in charge," said the stomach, "Because I process food and give all of your energy."
"I should be in charge!" demanded the rectum, "Because I'm responsible for waste removal."
All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.
Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, and the blood was toxic. Eventually the other organs gave in and all agreed that the rectum should be the boss.
The Moral Of The Story: You don't have to be smart or important to be in charge... just more...

Where are an elephant's sex organs located? In his feet... if he steps on you, you're screwed!

Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work.
The first one said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. Everything inside is numbered".
"I think librarians are the easiest" said the second surgeon. "When you open them up all their organs are alphabetically ordered".
The third surgeon said, "I prefer to operate on electricians. All their organs are color coded".
The fourth one said, "I like to operate on lawyers. They are heartless,spineless, gutless, and their head and their ass are interchangeable."

A prominent Polish scientist conducted very important experiment. He trained a flea to jump upon giving her a verbal command ("Jump!"). In a first stage of experiment he removed fleas leg, told her to jump, and the flea jumped. So he wrote in his scientific notebook: "Upon removing one leg all flea organs function properly."So, he removed the second leg, asked the flea to jump, she obeyed, so he wrote again: "Upon removing the second leg all flea organs function properly."Thereafter he removed all the legs but one, the flea jumped when ordered, so he wrote again: "Upon removing the next leg all flea organs function properly."Then he removed the last leg. Told flea to jump, and nothing happened. He did not want to take a chance, so he repeated the experiment several times, and the leg less flea never jumped. So he wrote the conclusion: "Upon removing the last leg the flea loses sense of hearing"

The SETTING: Pageant Night Ms. Universe Beauty Pageant Q & A Portion THE FINALISTS: Ms. America Ms. Spain Ms. Britain Ms. Iran Ms. India Ms. Philippines QUESTION: Ms. America, how would you describe a male organ in your country? MS. AMERICA: Well, I would say that, male organs in America are like gentlemen. QUESTION: Why do you say that? MS. AMERICA: Because it stands every time it sees a woman. (Applause... Applause) QUESTION: Ms. Spain, how would you describe a male organ in your country? MS. SPAIN: Male organs in our country are like toros in our very own bullfight. QUESTION: Why do you say that? MS. SPAIN: Because it charges every time it sees an opening. (Applause.... Applause) QUESTION: Ms. Britain, how would you describe a male organ in your country? MS. BRITAIN: Male organs in our country are like Shakespearian actors. QUESTION: Why do you say that? MS. BRITAIN: Because it cries after every performance. (Applause... Applause) QUESTION: Ms. Iran, how would you describe a male more...