Ordinance Jokes

Oneida: An ordinance forbids anyone to sing the song "It Ain`t Goin` To Rain No Mo`."(Tennessee Dumb Laws)

Alabama:
It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.
California:
Community leaders passed an ordinance that makes it illegal for anyone to try and stop a child from playfully jumping over puddles of water.
Nebraska:
A parent can be arrested if his child cannot hold back a burp during a church service.
New Mexico:
Females are strictly forbidden to appear unshaven in public.
Pennsylvania:
A special cleaning ordinance bans housewives from hiding dirt and dust under a rug in a dwelling.
No man may purchase alcohol without written consent from his wife.
Tennessee:
It is illegal to lasso a catfish in Tennessee.

Cats in International Falls, Minnesota, are not allowed to chase dogs up telephone poles.
If your dog gets your neighbor's dog pregnant in Danbury, Connecticut, you are responsible and must pay for the abortion if the neighbor chooses to have it done.
No dog may be tied to a shade tree in Birmingham, Alabama.
An ordinance in Belvedere, California, states "No dog shall be in a public place without its master on a leash."
Another misworded ordinance is this one from Arvada, Colorado: "If a stray pet is not claimed within 24 hours, the owner will be destroyed."
Fights between cats and dogs are prohibited by statute in Barber, North Carolina.
In Sterling, Colorado, it is unlawful to allow a pet cat to run loose without a taillight.
In Ventura County, California, cats and dogs are not allowed to have sex without a permit.
Cats living in Cresskill, New Jersey, must wear three bells to warn birds of their whereabouts.
A more...

Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging. It is considered an offense to shower naked. You are not allowed to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers. It is illegal to block any traveled wagon road. Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner. If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle. It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit. You may not fart in a public place after 6 P. M. on Thursdays. Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown. It is illegal to skateboard without a license. A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing. Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal. It is illegal to molest a Key deer. If caught one will be fined or will have to go to jail. It is against the city ordinance to hang your more...

Mourners at a wake may not eat more than three sandwiches. Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked. An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public. It is illegal to put tomatoes in clam chowder.It's illegal to take a lion to the movies. Eating while swimming in the ocean is prohibited.It's illegal to keep a mule on the second floor of a building not in a city unless there are 2 exits. It's illegal to sell fewer than 24 ducklings at a time before May 1, or to sell rabbits, chicks, or ducklings that have been painted a different color. No gorilla is allowed in the back seat of any car. Children may smoke, but they may not purchase cigarettes. Affiliation with the Communist party is illegal.
It is illegal to frighten a pigeon. Peeping in the windows of automobiles is forbidden. There is a Massachusetts law requiring all dogs to have their hind legs tied during the more...