Bath Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    - rolling in the deep ooohhhh
    - nan please take the wheel chair out the bath

    A wife was out for the evening playing bingo and came home sporting a new fur coat. "Honey," she said to her husband, "look what I won at bingo!"
    The next week, she came home from bingo wearing a huge diamond ring. "Hey, honey," she said, "look what I won at bingo!"
    The following week, when she came home from bingo, she was driving a brand new BMW. "Look!" she exclaimed. "Look what I won at bingo!"
    As she preparing to get ready for bingo the next week, her husband asked, "Darling, would you like me to draw a bath for you?"
    "Oh, yes please," she replied.
    When she went to get in the tub, she noticed that there was less than an inch of water in it. "Honey, how am I supposed to take a bath with such a small amount of water?" she asked.
    "Well, I wouldn't want you to get your bingo card wet!" replied the husband.

    A mild-mannered man was tired of being bossed around by his wife so he went to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist said he needed to build his self-esteem, and so gave him a book on assertiveness, which he read on the way home. He had finished the book by the time he reached his house. The man stormed into the house and walked up to his wife. Pointing a finger in her face, he said, "From now on, I want you to know that I am the man of this house, and my word is law! I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, I expect a sumptuous dessert afterward. Then, after dinner, you're going to draw me my bath so I can relax. And when I'm finished with my bath, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?" "The funeral director," said his wife.

    Doris and Fred had started their retirement years and decided to raise some extra cash by advertising for a tenant for their terrace house. After a few days, a young attractive woman applied for the room and explained that she was a model working in a
    nearby city center studio for a few weeks and that she would like the room from Mondays to Thursdays, but would pay for the whole week.
    Doris showed her the house and they agreed to start straight away. "There's just one problem," explained the model. "Because of my job, I have to take a bath every night, and I notice you don't have a bath."
    "That's not a problem," replied Doris. "We have a tin
    bath out in the yard and we bring it in to the living room in front of the fire and fill it with hot water."
    "What about your husband?" asked the model.
    "Oh, he plays darts most weekdays, so he will be out in the evenings," replied Doris.
    "Good," said more...

    Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?Why is it that no matter what colour of bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?Is there ever a day when mattresses are NOT on sale?Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with the hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give their vacuum one more chance?How do those dead bugs get into closed light fixtures?Why do we wash BATH towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? If not then what was the purpose of the bath?Considering all the lint you get in your dryer, if you kept drying your clothes would they eventually just disappear?When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say' It's all right'? It isn't all right, so why don't we say,' That hurt, you stupid idiot?'Why is it more...

  • Recent Activity