Doorbell Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A woman decides that she's had it with trying to find a decent man in a bar. So she takes out an ad in the paper that says she is seeking a mate who is loyal, rich and a good lover. After a few days, her doorbell rings. She opens the door and sees a man in a wheelchair with no arms and no legs. He says, "I'm here about your ad."
    Momentarily taken aback, she says, "Well, how do I know that you're loyal?"
    "Well I saved my platoon from the Viet Cong in Vietnam. That's how I lost my arms and legs."
    "Well, how do I know that you're rich?" she inquires.
    He replies,"I make over three million dollars a year. I have my own software company. You can look at my bank statement".
    Looking at him in his wheelchair, she demands "How do I know you're a good lover?"
    He shrugs "I rang the doorbell didn't I?"

    Share Critical Information Pertaining to Credit and Risk
    A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over which one should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor.
    Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel that you have on."
    After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her 800 dollars and leaves. Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
    When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower,
    "Who was that?"
    "It was Bob, the next door neighbor," she replies.
    "Great!" the husband says, "Did he say anything about the more...

    A woman puts an ad in the paper for a husband. In her ad she includes the three
    things that she's looking for in a husband:
    She wants a man who won't beat her.
    She wants a man that won't leave her.
    She wants a really great lover.
    A few days later the doorbell rings. The woman opens the door to find a man with
    no arms or legs sitting in a wheelchair on her porch. She says, "How may I help
    you?"
    He replies that he is there to answer her ad in the paper.
    She says, "Oh, but I am looking for a man that won't beat me."
    He replies, "I have no arms. How can I beat you?"
    She says, "Ok, but I want someone who won't leave me."
    And he replies, "I have no legs and if you take away my wheelchair I can't even
    move. How could I leave you?"
    She nods her head and says, "Well, what I really want is a great lover."
    The man looks at her and says, "Lady, how do you think I rang the more...

    Yo mama so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."Yo mama so poor she can't afford to pay attention!Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!Yo mama so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"Yo mama so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.Yo mama so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.Yo mama so poor her face is on the front of a foodstamp.Yo mama so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage."Yo mama so poor she drives a peanut.Yo mama so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.

    Feeling edgy, a man took a hot bath.
    Just as he became comfortable, the doorbell rang. The man got out of the tub, put on his slippers and robe and went to the door.
    A salesman at the door wanted to know if he needed any brushes. Slamming the door, the man returned to the bath.
    The doorbell rang again. On went the slippers and robe, and the man started for the door again. He took one step, slipped on a wet spot, fell backward, and hit his back against the hard porcelain bathtub.
    Cursing under his breath, the man struggled into his street clothes and with every move a stab of pain, drove to the doctor.
    After examining him, the doctor said, "You know, you've been lucky. Nothing is broken. But you need to relax... Why don't you go home and take a long hot bath?"

  • Recent Activity