Robe Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A beautiful innocent young girl wants to meet Santa Claus so she puts on a robe and stays up late on Christmas Eve. Santa arrives, climbs down the chimney, and begins filling the socks. He is about to leave when the girl, who happens to be a gorgeous redhead, says in a sexy voice, "Oh Santa, please stay. Keep the chill away."
    Santa replies, "HO HO HO, Gotta go, gotta go. Gotta get the presents to the children, you know."
    The girl drops the robe to reveal a sexy bra and panties and says in an even sexier voice, "Oh Santa, don't run a mile; just stay for a while..."
    Santa begins to sweat but replies, "HO HO HO, gotta go, gotta go. Gotta get the presents to the children, you know."
    The girl takes off her bra and says, "Oh Santa... Please... Stay."
    Santa wipes his brow but replies, "HO HO HO, gotta go, gotta go. Gotta get the presents to the children, you know."
    She loses the panties and says, "Oh more...

    A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who`s dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans. Saint Peter addresses this guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?" The guy replies, "I`m Joe Cohen, taxi-driver, of Noo Yawk City." Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi-driver, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven." The taxi-driver goes into Heaven with his robe and staff, and it`s the minister`s turn. He stands erect and booms out, "I am Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary`s for the last forty-three years." Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the minister, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven." "Just a minute," says the minister. "That man was a taxi-driver, and he gets a silken robe and golden staff. How can this more...

    A guy goes over to his friend's house, rings the bell. The wife answers.
    "Hi, Sara, is Tony home?"
    "No, Chris, he went to the store."
    "Well, you mind if I wait?"
    "No, come in."
    They sit down and after a few minutes, the friend says "You know Sara, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one." Sara thinks about this for a second and figures what the hell - a hundred bucks. She opens her robe and shows one. He promptly thanks her and throws a 100 dollar bill on the table.
    They sit there a while longer and Chris says, "I've just got to see the both of them. I'll give you another 100 bucks if I could see the both of them together."
    Sara thinks about this and says what the hell opens her robe and gives Chris a nice long look. Chris thanks her and throws another 100 bucks on the table, then says he can't wait any longer for Tony and leaves.
    A more...

    Feeling edgy, a man took a hot bath.
    Just as he became comfortable, the doorbell rang. The man got out of the tub, put on his slippers and robe and went to the door.
    A salesman at the door wanted to know if he needed any brushes. Slamming the door, the man returned to the bath.
    The doorbell rang again. On went the slippers and robe, and the man started for the door again. He took one step, slipped on a wet spot, fell backward, and hit his back against the hard porcelain bathtub.
    Cursing under his breath, the man struggled into his street clothes and with every move a stab of pain, drove to the doctor.
    After examining him, the doctor said, "You know, you've been lucky. Nothing is broken. But you need to relax... Why don't you go home and take a long hot bath?"

    Bill rents an apartment in New York, and goes to the lobby to put his name on the group mailbox. While he was there, an attractive young lady comes out of the apartment next to the mailboxes wearing a robe. Bill smiles at the young girl and she strikes up a conversation with him.

    As they talk, her robe slips open and it's quite obvious that she has nothing on under the robe. Poor Bill breaks out into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact. After a few minutes, she places her hand on his arm and sighs, "Lets go in my apartment, I hear someone coming..."

    He proceeds with her into the apartment, and after she closes the door, she leans against it allowing her robe to fall off completely. Being completely nude, she purrs at him, "What would you say is my best feature?" The flustered, embarrassed Bill stammers, clears his throat several times, and finally squeaks out, "Oh, it's got to be your ears!"

    She's astounded! "Why more...

  • Recent Activity