Old People Jokes / Recent Jokes
"Give me a sentence about a public servant," said the Mother helping her son at home. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The mother took her son aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure," said the young boy confidently. "It means' carrying a child.'"
An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She instructed the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, an emerald necklace, a ruby bracelet, and a Rolex watch.""But you're not wearing any of those things!" the artist said."I know," she replied. "But if I should die before my husband, I'm sure he'll remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry!"
This is the story of two elderly people living in a Florida mobile home park. He was a widower and she a widow. They had known one another for a number of years. Now, one evening there was a community
supper in the big activity center. These two were at the same table, across from one another. As the meal went on, he made a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered up his courage to ask her, "Will
you marry me?" After about six seconds of' careful consideration,' she answered. "Yes, Yes, I will." The meal ended and with a few more
pleasant exchanges, they went to their respective places. Next morning, he was troubled. Did she say' yes' or did she say' no'? He couldn't remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall. Not
even a faint memory. With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her. First, he explained to her that he didn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he
gained a more...
A Minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning. He said, "Today, church, I am going to say a single word and you aregoing to help me preach. Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn comes to your mind."
The pastor shouted out, "Cross."
Immediately the congregation started singing in unison, "The Old Rugged Cross."
The Pastor hollered out, "Grace."
The congregation began to sing, "Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound."
The Pastor said, "Power."
The congregation sang, "There is Power in the Blood."
The Pastor said, "Sex."
The congregation fell into total silence. Everyone was in shock. They all nervously began to look around at each other, afraid to say anything.
Suddenly, from the back of the church, a frail little 87 year-old grandmother stood up and, in a tiny more...