Objection Jokes / Recent Jokes

A philosopher once had the following dream.First Aristotle appeared, and the philosopher said to him, "Could you give me a fifteen-minute capsule sketch of your entire philosophy?" To the philosopher`s surprise, Aristotle gave him an excellent exposition in which he compressed an enormous amount of material into a mere fifteen minutes. But then the philosopher raised a certain objection which Aristotle couldn`t answer. Confounded, Aristotle disappeared.Then Plato appeared. The same thing happened again, and the philosophers` objection to Plato was the same as his objection to Aristotle. Plato also couldn`t answer it and disappeared.Then all the famous philosophers of history appeared one-by-one and our philosopher refuted every one with the same objection.After the last philosopher vanished, our philosopher said to himself, "I know I`m asleep and dreaming all this. Yet I`ve found a universal refutation for all philosophical systems! Tomorrow when I wake up, I will more...

Trial Of The Century Transcript Reveals Objectionable Methods By Dave Barry, Sunday, March 19, 1995 TRANSCRIPT, TRIAL OF THE CENTURY, DAY 257BAILIFF: Hear ye, hear ye, the court is now in sess... DEFENSE: Objection, your honor. JUDGE: To what? DEFENSE: Nothing, your honor. We're just warming up. PROSECUTION: Your honor, the people would like to state that we also have no objections at this time. DEFENSE: Objection, your honor. Every time the defense says some- thing, the prosecution always feels it has to say something. PROSECUTION: The people do not. DEFENSE: Do too. PROSECUTION: Do not. DEFENSE: Do too. DEFENDANT: OK, stop, I confess! I'm guilty! JUDGE (sternly): Order in the court! (To prosecution): Proceed. PROSECUTION: Where were we? JUDGE (checking his notes): You were on "Do not." PROSECUTION: Oh, right, thanks. Do not. DEFENSE: Your honor, the prosecution is clearly jealous of the defense because we have a lot of marquee legal talent such as F. Lee Bailey and the more...