Objection Jokes

A DONKEY was in the witness box. The cross-
examining lawyer addressing the court said, "Your
Honour, this gadha......" The witness shouted, "Your
Honour, I object to the insinuation."
The judge said-"But aren't you one?" The witness clarified, "It is not the word that matters. It is the manner in which the word is uttered and the meaning sought to be conveyed that matters."
The judge ruled-"Objection sustained."

What's Woody Allen's only objection to having an Oriental lover?
An hour after he fucks her, he's horny again.

A philosopher once had the following dream.First Aristotle appeared, and the philosopher said to him, "Could you give me a fifteen-minute capsule sketch of your entire philosophy?" To the philosopher`s surprise, Aristotle gave him an excellent exposition in which he compressed an enormous amount of material into a mere fifteen minutes. But then the philosopher raised a certain objection which Aristotle couldn`t answer. Confounded, Aristotle disappeared.Then Plato appeared. The same thing happened again, and the philosophers` objection to Plato was the same as his objection to Aristotle. Plato also couldn`t answer it and disappeared.Then all the famous philosophers of history appeared one-by-one and our philosopher refuted every one with the same objection.After the last philosopher vanished, our philosopher said to himself, "I know I`m asleep and dreaming all this. Yet I`ve found a universal refutation for all philosophical systems! Tomorrow when I wake up, I will more...

A lawyer cross-examined the adversary's main witness. "You claim to have stopped by Mrs. Edwards' house just after breakfast. Will you tell the jury what she said?"

"Objection, your honor," shouted the other lawyer.

There then followed a long argument between the lawyers as to whether the question was proper. Finally, after 45 minutes, the judge allowed it.

"So," the first lawyer continued, "Please answer the question: What did Mrs. Edwards say when you went to her house after breakfast on December 3rd?"

"Nothing," said the witness. "No one was home."

A philosopher once had the following dream.First Aristotle appeared, and the philosopher said to him, "Could you give me a fifteen-minute capsule sketch of your entire philosophy?" To the philosopher's surprise, Aristotle gave him an excellent exposition in which he compressed an enormous amount of material into a mere fifteen minutes. But then the philosopher raised a certain objection which Aristotle couldn't answer. Confounded, Aristotle disappeared.Then Plato appeared. The same thing happened again, and the philosophers' objection to Plato was the same as his objection to Aristotle. Plato also couldn't answer it and disappeared.Then all the famous philosophers of history appeared one-by-one and our philosopher refuted every one with the same objection.After the last philosopher vanished, our philosopher said to himself, "I know I'm asleep and dreaming all this. Yet I've found a universal refutation for all philosophical systems! Tomorrow when I wake up, I will more...