Witness Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    The following is a list of dead people connected to Bill Clinton. Please
    note the following breakdown of causes, and then think about the statistical possibility of their being random occurrences (especially the plane crashes):
    1. James McDougal - Clinton's convicted Whitewater partner died of an
    apparent heart attack, while in solitary confinement. He was a key
    witness in Ken Starr's investigation.
    2. Mary Mahoney - A former White House intern was murdered July 1997 at a
    Starbucks Coffee Shop in Georgetown. The murder happened just after she
    was to go public with her story of sexual harassment in the White House.
    3. Vince Foster - Former White House counselor, and colleague of Hillary
    Clinton at Little Rock's Rose law firm. Died of a gunshot wound to the
    head, ruled a suicide.
    4. Ron Brown - Secretary of Commerce and former Democratic National
    Committee Chairman. Reported to have died more...

    A small, uncertain, and nervous witness was being cross-examined.
    The lawyer thundered, "Have you ever been married?"
    "Yes, sir," said the witness in a low voice. "Once."
    "Whom did you marry?" the lawyer demanded.
    "Well, a woman," the witness answered timidly.
    The lawyer said angrily, "Of course you married a woman. Did you ever hear of anyone marrying a man?"
    And the witness said meekly, "My sister did."

    At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness.
    "Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?"
    The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn't hear the question.
    The prosecutor again blared, "Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" The witness still did not respond.
    Finally, the judge leaned over and said, "Sir, please answer the question."
    "Oh," the startled witness said, "I thought he was talking to you."

    Attorney to witness: "What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?" Witness: "Where am I Cathy?" Attorney: "And why did that upset you?" Witness: "Because my name is Susan."

    A DONKEY was in the witness box. The cross-
    examining lawyer addressing the court said, "Your
    Honour, this gadha......" The witness shouted, "Your
    Honour, I object to the insinuation."
    The judge said-"But aren't you one?" The witness clarified, "It is not the word that matters. It is the manner in which the word is uttered and the meaning sought to be conveyed that matters."
    The judge ruled-"Objection sustained."

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