Musical Jokes / Recent Jokes
Scientists announced Monday that they have developed a t-shirt that turns the strumming of an air guitar into music. An engineer on the project says, “It’s an easy-to-use, virtual instrument that allows real-time music making even by players without musical skills.”
The company also revealed that they could be certain of this because the device had first been tested on Kevin Federline.
A musical director was having a lot of trouble with one drummer. He talked and talked and talked with the drummer, but his performance simply didn't improve.
Finally, before the whole orchestra, he said, "When a musician just can't handle his instrument and doesn't improve when given help, they take away the instrument, and give him two sticks, and make him a drummer."
A stage whisper was heard from the percussion section: "And if he can't handle even that, they take away one of his sticks and make him a conductor."
A colleague on our campus came to work this morning sporting a musical, Christmas tie given to him by his wife and daughter.
He told me that his daughter admonished him to leave at home the box the tie came in because, clearly printed on it, are the words, "Squeeze my tip and hear me sing".
Of course, he had it with him when he arrived for work this morning!
My wife and I were browsing in a crafts store when I noticed a display of country-style musical instruments. After looking over the flutes, dulcimers and recorders, I picked up a shiny, one-stringed instrument I took to be a mouth harp. I put it to my lips and, much to the amusement of other shoppers, twanged a few notes on it.After watching from a distance, my wife came up and whispered in my ear, "I hate to tell you this, honey, but you're trying to play a cheese slicer."
What is the pig's favorite musical instrument? The piggalo (piccalo).
Q: What's musical and handy in a supermarket? A: A Chopin Liszt.