Letter Jokes / Recent Jokes
An old man lived alone in Idaho. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, Bubba, who used to help him, was in prison.
The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his predicament.
"Dear Bubba, I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me.
- Love, Dad"
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
"Dear Dad,
For HEAVEN'S SAKE, Dad, don't dig up the garden! That's where I buried the GUNS!
- Love, Bubba"
At 4 A. M. the next morning, a dozen FBI agents and local police officers showed up and dug up the entire area without finding any guns. They apologized to the old man and left.
That same day the old man received another letter more...
Little Johnny came into the kitchen where his mother was making
dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a
good time to tell his mother what he wanted.
"Mom, I want a bike for my birthday." Little Johnny was a bit of
a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home.
Johnny's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike
for his birthday.
Little Johnny, of course, thought he did.
Johnny's mother wanted Johnny to reflect on his behavior over
the last year. "Go to your room, Johnny, and think about how
you have behaved this year.
Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike
for your birthday." Little Johnny stomped over to his room and
sat down to write God a letter.
Letter 1:
Dear God,
I have been more...
Braxton and Hollis had jobs at a California cotton mill. One morning the foreman came along and found Braxton reading a letter to his coworker.
"Hey," cried the foreman, "what kind a horseplay you two guys up to?"
"Hollis got a letter from his girlfriend," explained Braxton, "but he can't read; so Ah'm readin' the letter for him."
"How come you got the cotton in your ears?"
"Hollis don't want me to hear what his girlfriend writ to him!"
Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.
Divorce: Future tense of marriage.
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the
Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power...
Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage.
Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open more...
In France, the young assistant pastors do not live in the main rectory.
That is reserved for the Pastor and his housekeeper.
------------------
One day the pastor invited his new young assistant pastor to have
dinner at the rectory. While being served, the young pastor noticed how
shapely and lovely the housekeeper was. Down deep in his heart he
wondered if there was more between the pastor and the housekeeper. After
the meal was over, the middle-aged pastor assured the young priest that
everything was purely professional... that she was the housekeeper and
cook and that was that.
About a week later the housekeeper came to the pastor and said,
"Father, ever since the new assistant came for dinner I have not been
able to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose he took
it, do you?" The Pastor said, " Well, I doubt it very much, but I'll write him
a
letter." So he sat down and more...
Submitted by Darcy
An old man lived alone in Idaho. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, Bubba, who used to help him, was in prison
The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his predicament.
Dear Bubba,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me.
Love, Dad
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Dad,
'For HEAVEN'S SAKE, Dad, don't dig up the garden! That's where I buried the GUNS!'
Love, Bubba
At 4 A. M. the next morning, a dozen FBI agents and local police officers showed up and dug up the entire area without finding any guns. They apologized to the old man and left.
That same day the old man received more...
A family at Changanachery (Kerala) was puzzled when the coffin of their dead mother arrived from Dubai. It was sent by one of the daughters. The dead body was so tightly squeezed into the coffin, with no space left in it! When they opened the lid they found a letter on top which read as follows:
Dear brothers and sisters,
I am sending our mother's body to you, since it was her wish that she should be buried in the parelpally cemetry. Sorry, I could not come along because nurses salary is going to increase from next month so I doubt whether I will get in case I am not here. You will find inside the coffin, under Amma's body, 12 cans of cheese, 10 packets of chocolates and 4 packets of Badam. Please divide these among all of you. On the sides of her head there is a tin of Nido and Tang. On Amma's feet you will find a new pair of Reebok shoe (size 10) for Biju.
Also, there are 2 pairs of shoes for Lijju's and Ammani's sons. Hope the sizes are correct. Amma is wearing 6 more...