"Little Johnny's Xmas Wish" joke

Little Johnny came into the kitchen where his mother was making

dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a

good time to tell his mother what he wanted.

"Mom, I want a bike for my birthday." Little Johnny was a bit of

a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home.

Johnny's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike

for his birthday.

Little Johnny, of course, thought he did.

Johnny's mother wanted Johnny to reflect on his behavior over

the last year. "Go to your room, Johnny, and think about how

you have behaved this year.

Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike

for your birthday." Little Johnny stomped over to his room and

sat down to write God a letter.

Letter 1:

Dear God,

I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike

for my birthday. I want a red one.

Your friend, Johnny

Johnny knew that this wasn't true. He had not been a very good

boy this year, so he tore up the letter and started over

Letter 2:

Dear God, This is your friend, Johnny. I have been a pretty good

boy this year and would like a red bike for my birthday. Thank you.

Your friend, Johnny

Johnny knew that this wasn't true, either. So, he tore up the

letter and started again.

Letter 3:

Dear God,

I have been an "OK" boy this year. I still would really like a

red bike for my birthday. Johnny

Johnny knew he could not send this letter to God either. So,

Johnny wrote another letter.

Letter 4:

Dear God,

I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry. I

will be a good boy if you just send me a red bike for my

birthday. Please!

Thank you, Johnny

Johnny knew this letter was not going to get him a bike. By now,

Johnny was very upset. He went to the kitchen and told his mom

that he

wanted to go to church.

"Just be home in time for dinner," Johnny's mother told him.

Johnny walked down the street to the church on the corner. He

went into

the church and up to the altar. He looked around to see if anyone

was

there.

Johnny bent down and picked up a statue of the Virgin Mary. He

slipped it under his shirt and ran out of the church, down the

street,

into the house, and over to his room. He shut the door to his

room and sat

down with a piece of paper and a pen. Johnny began to write his

letter to God.

Letter 5:

Dear God,

I'VE GOT YOUR MOTHER. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE

BIKE.

Signed, YOU KNOW WHO