Letter Jokes / Recent Jokes

An old lady walked in to the post office to buy stamps and as she was short-sighted the clerk offered to stick the stamps on for her.
`Wait a minute,' he said, `you've written the address upside down.'

`I know,' said the little old lady, `the letter is going to Australia.'

A very important event is going to happen on May the 4th. I'm telling you so early because it's so important. I urge each of you to mark that date on your calendars with the letters BU. It's very important that you include the letter B with the letter U; you may miss the importance of the event without it. So go now, and mark your calendars. Keep repeating to yourselves as you walk to the calendar, so you don't forget: May the 4th, B with U; May the 4th, B with U....

Are you writing a thank you letter to Grandma like I told you to?

Yes Mom.

Your handwriting seems very large.

Well, Grandma's very deaf, so I'm writing very loudly.

A nice young worker from Australia Post ( yes they do exist ), was sorting
through her regular envelopes, when she discovered a letter addressed as
follows:
GOD
c/o Heaven
Upon opening the envelope, a letter enclosed told of how a little old
lady who had never asked for anything in her life, was desperately in need of
$100 and was wondering if God could send her the money.
Well the young lady was deeply touched and made a collection from her
fellow workmates and collected $90 and sent it off to the old lady. A few
weeks later another letter arrived addressed to God, so the young lady opened
it and it read "Thank you for the money, God, I deeply appreciate it, however
I only received $90. It must have been those bastards at the Post Office."

Letter from Daughter to Parents Dear Mother and Dad: It has now been three months since I left for college. I have been remissin writing this and I am very sorry for my thoughtlessness in not havingwritten before. I will bring you up to date now, but before you read on, please sit down. YOU ARE NOT TO READ ANY FURTHER UNLESS YOU ARE SITTING DOWN. OKAY! Well then, I am getting along pretty well now. The skull fracture and theconcussion I got when I jumped out of the window of my dormitory when itcaught fire shortly after my arrival are pretty well healed now. I only getthose sick headaches once a day. Fortunately the fire in the dormitory and my jump were witnessed by an attendantat the gas station near the dorm, and he was the one who called the firedepartment and the ambulance. He also visited me at the hospital and sinceI had nowhere to live, because of the burned out dormitory, he was kind enoughto invite me to share his apartment with him. It's really a basement room, but it's more...

There was a little boy who prayed every night for two weeks, asking God for $100. When he got no response, he thought it would be a good idea to write to God and see if that worked.
The post office received the letter addressed to "GOD, USA," they decided that it would be best to just forward the letter to President Clinton.
The president read the letter and thought it was cute, so he asked his secretary to send the boy $5, thinking the boy would think that was a lot of money.
When the boy got the letter, he was so excited that he sat down immediately to write a thank-you letter. "Dear God," he wrote, "Thank you very much for the money you sent. I suppose it is to be expected, but I thought you should know that when you sent it through Washington, D.C., the bastards deducted $95."

A soldier stationed in Afghanistan recently received a letter from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows:
Dear Ricky,
I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice, since you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us.
I'm sorry.
Please return the picture of me that I sent to you.
Love, Becky.
The soldier, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow soldiers for any snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters or ex-girlfriends. In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all the other pictures of the pretty gals he had collected from his buddies. There were 57 photos in that envelope.... along with this note:
Dear Becky,
I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember who the hell you are.
Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me.
Take Care,
Ricky