Knots Jokes / Recent Jokes

An old sailor goes to a brothel, where he chooses his girl and begins." How am I doing?" He asks." Three knots," she replies." Three knots? What's that mean?" "You're not hard, you're not in, and you're not getting your money back."

One day, a young cowboy and a cowgirl decided to get married.He was a man of the world and she was an innocent bride withno experience.On the first night of their honeymoon the couple washed upand started to get ready for bed. When they get into bed, they start exploring each other's bodies.Things are going fine until the bride discovers herhusband's penis. "Oh my", she says, "What is that?""Well, darlin", the cowboy says, "That's ma rope".She slides her hands further down and gasps."Oh my goodness. What's them?" she asks."Honey, them's my knots", he answers.Finally, the couple begin to make love. After several minutes, the bride says, "Stop honey. Wait a minute".Her husband, panting a little, asks, "What's the matter honey? Am I hurting you?""No", the bride replies. "Just undo them damn knots.I need more rope!"

One day, a young cowboy and a cowgirl decided to get married. He was a man of the world and she was an innocent bride withno experience. On the first night of their honeymoon the couple washed upand started to get ready for bed. When they get into bed, they start exploring each other's bodies. Things are going fine until the bride discovers herhusband's penis. "Oh my", she says, "What is that?""Well, darlin", the cowboy says, "That's ma rope". She slides her hands further down and gasps."Oh my goodness. What's them?" she asks."Honey, them's my knots", he answers. Finally, the couple begin to make love. After several minutes, the bride says, "Stop honey. Wait a minute". Her husband, panting a little, asks, "What's the matter honey? Am I hurting you?""No", the bride replies. "Just undo them damn knots. I need more rope!"

There was a virgin who wanted to marry a farmer boy. One day, she went to his parents' house for dinner. When they got done eating dinner, they decided to go for a walk through the pasture. While they were walking, they came upon 2 horses that were mating. She looks at them with wonder because she has never seen anything like this before. She asks the boy, "What are they doing?" He says: "They're making love." "Well, what's that long thing he's sticking in there?" She asked. "Oh, uh, that's his rope," he answered." Well, what are those two round things on the other end?" she asked. He says, "Those are his knots." She says, "Oh, ok, I got it." As they continue their stroll, they come to a barn and go in. She looks at him and says, "I want you to make love to me the way those animals were." Surprised and excited, the boy agrees. While they are getting at it all hot and heavy, she grabs his balls and more...

Finally getting a shore leave after being out to sea for a couple of months, the sailor made his way to a brothel and told the madam he wanted a lady for the evening.
The madam told him that they were very busy at the moment and he would have to wait. Having been at sea for such a lengthy time, he was impatient and told her he didn't want to wait. He asked if he could possibly have a go with her, if she wasn't busy.
After some price negotiations, she reluctantly agreed and they went up to a room.
The sailor proceeded to put his best moves on her and finally asked breathlessly, "Well, how am I doing?"
"I'd have to say you're doing about three knots," the madam replied.
"Three knots? What does that mean?" he asked.
"It's knot hard, it's knot in and you are knot getting your money back!" she replied.