Rope Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    There were 10 blondes and 1 brunette hanging on a rope in the mountains. the rope was very weak and the brunette said someone had to let go. no one volunteered, until the brunette finally said she would let go, and gave a heart-felt speech. hearing this the blondes started clapping...

    It was flooding in California. As the flood waters were rising, a man was on the stoop of his house and another man in a row boat came by. The man in the row boat told the man on the stoop to get in and he'd save him. The man on the stoop said, no, he had faith in God and would wait for God to save him. The flood waters kept rising and the man had to go to the second floor of his house. A man in a motor boat came by and told the man in the house to get in because he had come to rescue him. The man in the house said no thank you. He had perfect faith in God and would wait for God to save him. The flood waters kept rising. Pretty soon they were up to the man's roof and he got out on the roof. A helicopter then came by, lowered a rope and the pilot shouted down in the man in the house to climb up the rope because the helicopeter had come to rescue him. The man in the house wouldn't get in. He told the pilot that he had faith in God and would wait for God to rescue him. The flood waters more...

    Eleven people were clinging precariously to a wildly swinging rope suspended from a crumbling outcropping on Mount Everest. Ten were blonde, one was a brunette.
    As a group, they decided that one of the party should let go. Otherwise, the rope would break and everyone would perish.
    For an agonizing few moments no one volunteered.
    Finally, the brunette gave a truly touching speech, saying she would sacrifice herself to save the lives of the others.
    The ten blondes applauded...

    One day, a young cowboy and a cowgirl decided to get married.He was a man of the world and she was an innocent bride withno experience.On the first night of their honeymoon the couple washed upand started to get ready for bed. When they get into bed, they start exploring each other's bodies.Things are going fine until the bride discovers herhusband's penis. "Oh my", she says, "What is that?""Well, darlin", the cowboy says, "That's ma rope".She slides her hands further down and gasps."Oh my goodness. What's them?" she asks."Honey, them's my knots", he answers.Finally, the couple begin to make love. After several minutes, the bride says, "Stop honey. Wait a minute".Her husband, panting a little, asks, "What's the matter honey? Am I hurting you?""No", the bride replies. "Just undo them damn knots.I need more rope!"

    (I don't remember where I heard this, but I don't think it was in church...)
    During a particularly wet winter, flood waters rise so high in one
    town that the national guard evacuates all the residents. One man
    stays behind, however, and when the water is waist-high, two national
    guardsmen in a boat motor past his house, checking for people left
    "We're evacuating the town because of the flood! Jump in the boat
    and we'll carry you to safety!"
    But the man says, "No, don't bother; I've led a pious life, and the
    Lord will save me."
    The men in the boat shrug their shoulders and motor away. Later,
    when the water level has driven the man onto his roof, another boat
    "Haven't you heard the town has been evacuated? Come on, we'll save
    But the man sends them away again, saying "No, no, the Lord will save
    The water level keeps rising until the man more...

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