Israeli Jokes / Recent Jokes

An Israeli girl has become the world's youngest divorcee at the age of 14. Next year she hopes to become the world's youngest cougar.

Some more Adverts from the Israeli newspapers
(see #86 and #125 for previous Adverts)
"Couch potato latke, in search of the right apple sauce. Let`s try it for eight days. Who knows? PO Box 43." "Female graduate student, studying kaballah, Zohar, exorcism of dybbuks, seeks mensch. No weirdos, please. PO Box 56." "Israeli professor, 41, with 18 years of teaching in my behind. Looking for American-born woman who speaks English very good. PO Box 123"

Q: What do Israeli soldiers do when they get bored? A: They go over to the West Bank & the Gaza Strip and get stoned.

the president has flown in from texas for an important discussion with the israeli president who is a jew.
the israeli president asks,"would u like some local food?"
mr bush accepts and drinks the manischewitz wine
Bush then offers,"hey would u like a hotdog made from the finest pork products in america?"

An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass.

The CO says "Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!"

So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank!

The CO was so impressed, he asked "How did you do it?"

"Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs. I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the Arab soldier, "Do you want to get a three-day pass? So we exchanged tanks!"

The Frenchman, the German, and the Israeli were standing around in the cafe in Tel Aviv, comparing their lifestyles.
"When I go to work," said the Frenchman, "I drive my Renault. On weekends I drive my $30,000 Peugeot. And when I travel abroad, I always drive a $50,000 Citroen."
"Bah,"said the German, "I drive a Volkswagen to work. But on weekends I drive a $50,000 BMW, and when I go abroad, I always take my customized $60,000 Mercedes."
"Very impressive," the Israeli admitted. "As for me, I take the bus to work, and on Sundays I motor around in my little Ford. But when I go abroad, I drive a $250,000 tank.

An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass.
The CO says "Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!"
So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank!
The CO was so impressed, he asked "How did you do it?"
"Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs. I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the Arab soldier, "Do you want to get a three-day pass? So we exchanged tanks!"