Coke Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A blonde walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. Out pops a coke.
    The blonde looks amazed and runs away to get some more coins.
    She returns and starts feeding the machine madly and, of course, the machine keeps feeding out drinks.
    Another woman walks up behind the blonde and watches her antics for a few minutes before asking if someone else could have a go.
    The blonde spins around and shouts in her face, 'Can't you see I'm winning?'

    After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the Presidents of the brewreys decide to go to the pub for a drink. The coors President said "Can I have the only beer made with Rocky Mountain Spring Water: a Coors, please."
    The bartender gave him the drink.Then the Budweiser President orders, "The King Of Beers - Budweiser."
    The bartender proceeds with the order.The Amstel President walks in and orders "The Finest Beer ever."
    The bartender gives him an Amstel.Then the Guinness President says, "I'll have a coke please."
    The bartender is taken aback by this but gives the coke to him anyway.All the Presidents looked over at him and said, "Why have you ordered a coke?"
    He replied, "Well if you all aren't drinking beer, then neither shall I."

    Angie and John were in court after deciding their divorce when the problem of 'who gets to keep the kid' started to arise. Angie exclaimed that the child was hers since she could take care of the kid better than her 'wretched' husband.
    But the judge wanted to hear John's reason of why he should keep the baby. After thinking for sometime, John said, "Your honor, let me ask you a question: if you put a dollar inside a vending machine and a coke comes out, does this coke belong to you or does it belong to the vending machine?"

    ' WORDS OF WISDOM AT THE HALF CENTURY MARK'
    From the book,' Dave Barry Turns 50'

    1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.

    2. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe' Daylight Saving Time'.

    3. People who feel the need to tell you that they have an excellent sense of humor are telling you that they have no sense of humor.

    4. The most valuable function performed by the federal government is entertainment.

    5. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

    6. A penny saved is worthless.

    7. They can hold all the peace talks they want, but there will never be peace in the Middle East. Billions of years from now, when Earth is hurtling toward the Sun and there is nothing left alive on the planet except a more...

    There was a cargo shipment of Pepsi flying over Africa.
    It suddenly had a malfunction, and crashed in the jungle.
    A few days later, Pepsi sent a rescue plane to search for the plane and crew.
    They found the wreckage, but were not able to locate the crew.
    They searched the area and met with a tribe of cannibals.
    They walked up to the Chief of the tribe and asked him if he knew anything about the crash.
    The Chief nods and simply says, "Yes...seen plane crash".
    When asked where the crew was, the Cheif replyed, "We ate the crew, and we drank the Pepsi!"
    The Rescue crew was shocked. Another man asked, "Did you eat their legs?"
    The chief replied, "We ate their legs, and we drank the Pepsi!"
    Another rescuer asked, "Did you eat their arms?"
    The Chief said, "We ate their arms, and we drank the Peps!"
    Finally, another rescuer had to ask, "Did you..you know...eat more...

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