Importance Jokes / Recent Jokes
The following is an excerpt from the July 1943 issue of Transportation Magazine. This was serious and written for male supervisors of women in the work force during World War II, a mere 58 years ago!
Obviously, the intent was not to be "funny," but by today's standards, this is hilarious!
Eleven Tips on Getting More Efficiency Out of Women Employees:
There's no longer any question whether transit companies should hire women for jobs formerly held by men. The draft and manpower shortage has settled that point. The important things now are to select the most efficient women available and how to use them to the best advantage.
Here are eleven helpful tips on the subject from Western Properties:
1. Pick young married women. They usually have more of a sense of responsibility than their unmarried sisters, they're less likely to be flirtatious, they need the work or they wouldn't be doing it, they still have the pep and more...
A grief-stricken man threw himself on a grave and cried bitterly, "My life, oh how senseless is it! How worthless everything about me, because you are gone. If only you had lived, if only fate had not been so cruel as to take you from this world, how everything would have been different!"
A clergyman nearby overheard him and said, "I assume the person lying beneath this mound of earth was someone of great importance to you."
"Importance? Indeed it was," wept the man. "It's my wife's first husband!"
Phrase Translation
=================================================================
It has long been known I haven't bothered to look up the
reference
It is believed I think
It is generally believed A couple of other guys think so too
It is not unreasonable to If you believe this, you'll believe
assume anything
Of great theoretical I find it kind of interesting
importance
Of great practical importance I can get some mileage out of it
Typical results are shown The best results are shown
3 samples were chosen for The others didn't make sense, so
further study we ignored them
The 4 hour sample was not I dropped it on the floor
studied
The 4 hour determination may I dropped it on the floor, but
not be significant scooped most of it up
The significance of these Look at the pretty artifact
results is unclear
It has not been possible to The experiment was negative, but
provide definitive answers at least I more...
When I began writing this letter, I had the notion that I would write about something positive and optimistic instead of going on about how homophobic Mr. Osama Bin Laden is. Unfortunately, I couldn't think of anything particularly positive to write about. So, instead, I'll just tell you that words fail me in describing my pure distaste for Osama's sermons and brainless practices. In the text that follows, when I quote from Osama, I will use the word "excrement" in place of another word which is now apparently permitted in general circulation publications, and which I have edited out. Some will say I exaggerate, but, actually, I'm being quite lenient. I didn't mention, for example, that he says he's going to shower bloodthirsty traitors with undeserved praise quicker than you can double-check the spelling of "ultracentrifugation". Is he out of his mind? The answer is fairly obvious when you consider that he dreams of a time when he'll be free to brand me as more...
*The following is an excerpt from the July 1943 issue of Transportation. This was serious, and written for male supervisors of women in the work force during World War II - a mere 54 years ago!
There's no longer any question whether transit companies should hire women for jobs formerly held by men. The draft and manpower shortage has settled that point.
The important things now are to select the most efficient women available and how to use them to the best advantage. Here are eleven helpful tips on the subject from Western Properties:
1. Pick young married women. They usually have more of a sense of responsibility than their unmarried sisters, they're less likely to be flirtatious, they need the work or they wouldn't be doing it, they still have the pep and interest to work hard and to deal with the public efficiently.
2. When you have to use older women, try to get ones who have worked outside the home at some time in their lives. Older more...