Hearse Jokes / Recent Jokes
A man was leaving a Stop n' Go with his morning coffee and newspaper when he
noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A
long black hearse was followed by another long black hearse about 50 feet
back. Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a pit bull on a
leash. Behind him were 200 men walking single file.
The guy couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the man
walking the dog and said: "Sir, I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but
I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"
The man replied "Well, that first hearse is for my wife."
"What happened to her?"
The man replied "My dog bit her and she died."
He inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"
The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the
dog turned and bit her and she died."
A poignant and more...
One fall day Bill was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse slowly drive by. Following the first hearse was a second hearse, which was followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and then 200 men walking in single file. Intrigued, Bill went up to the man following the second hearse and asked him who was in the first hearse.
"My wife," the man replied.
"I'm sorry," said Bill. "What happened to her?"
"My dog bit her and she died", said the man.
Bill then asked the man who was in the second hearse.
The man replied, "My mother-in-law. My dog bit her and she died as well."
Bill thought about this for a while. He finally asked the man, "Can I borrow your dog?" To which the man replied, "Get in line."
One afternoon, Peter was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse slowly drive by. Following the first hearse, was a second hearse, which was followed by a man walking solemnly along. Following the man was a dog, and then at least 200 men walking in single file.
Intrigued, Peter approached the man following the second hearse and asked him who was in the first hearse.
"My wife," the man replied.
"I'm so sorry," Peter said. "What happened to her?"
"My dog bit her and she died," the man answered.
"Who's in the second hearse?" asked Peter.
"My mother-in-law," the man said.
"What happened to her?" inquired Peter.
"My dog bit her and she died as well," the man explained.
Peter thought for a moment, then said, "May I borrow your dog?"
"Get in line!" the man replied.
A man was leaving a cafe with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind. Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a pit bull dog on a leash. Behind him were 200 men walking single file.
The man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the man walking the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"
The man replied, "Well, that first hearse is for my wife."
"What happened to her?"
The man replied, "My dog attacked and killed her."
He inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"
The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on more...
Did you ever think, when a hearse rolls by,
That you may be the next to die?
They wrap you up in a nice clean sheet,
And drop you down about six feet deep.
All goes well for about a week,
And then your coffin begins to leak.
The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out,
The worms play pinnacle on you snout.
They eat your clothes, they eat your hat,
They crawl in skinny and crawl out fat!
Tom was on the side of the road and noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by another long black hearse about 50 feet back.
Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a pit bull on a leash. Behind the man and dog were about 200 men walking in single file..
Curious, Tom respectfully approached the man walking the dog and said "Sir, I know this is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"
The man replied, "Well, that first hearse is for my wife."
Tom said, "Oh... I'm sorry. What happened to her?"
The man replied, "My dog bit her and she died."
Tom inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"
The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned and bit her... and she more...
A woman was leaving a 7-11 with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching thenearby cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind.
Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit bull on a leash.
Behind her were 200 women walking single file.
The woman couldn't stand the curiosity. She respectfully approached the woman and the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"
The woman replied, "Well that first hearse is for my husband." "What happened to him?"
The woman replied, "My dog attacked and killed him." She inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?" The woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my husband when the dog turned on more...