Hearse Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A woman was leaving a 7-11 with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit bull on a leash. Behind her were 200 women walking single file. The woman couldn't stand the curiosity. She respectfully approached the woman walking the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?" The woman replied, "Well, that first hearse is for my husband." "What happened to him?" The woman replied, "My dog attacked and killed him." She inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?" The woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her." A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed more...

    Man#1 is mowing his lawn when 2 hearses come down his street going very very slowly. The hearses are followed by a man walking a dog. And behind the man and the dog is a line of men walking single-file. There must have been 5 or 6 dozen men following. Curious about the procession Man#1 runs to catch up with Man#2 and his dog.
    Man#1 asks Man#2 who's in the first hearse.
    Man#2 replies, "My wife. My dog bit her. And she died in the hospital a bit later."
    Man#1 says, "I'm so very sorry for your loss. Mind if I ask who's in the second hearse?"
    Man#2 says, "Not at all, it's my mother in law. My dog also bit her and she died later in the hospital."
    Man#1 replies, "Can I borrow your dog?"
    Man#2, "Get in line."

    A woman walked out of a coffee shop just in time to see a very strange sight.
    Moving slowly down the street was a funeral procession which consisted of a hearse followed by another hearse, followed by a woman walking a dog, followed by 200 women in a long line.
    The procession was moving slowly and her curiosity got the best of her.So she walked up to the woman with the dog.
    I hope you don't mind me asking, who is in the first hearse?
    That's my husband. He was attacked by our dog and killed.
    Well, who is in the second hearse?
    That's my mother in law. She tried to save him and was killed by the dog too.
    Is this the dog, she asked?
    "Yes" said the widow.
    The first woman thought about it for a minute and then asked. "Can I borrow your dog?"
    Sure, said the widow,"get in the line".

    One fall day Bill was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse slowly drive by. Following the first hearse was a second hearse, which was followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog and then about 200 men walking in single file.
    Intrigued, Bill went up to the man following the second hearse and asked him who was in the first hearse.
    "My wife," the man replied.
    "I'm sorry," said Bill. "What happened to her?"
    "My dog bit her and she died."
    Bill then asked the man who was in the second hearse. The man replied, "My mother-in-law. My dog bit her and she died as well."
    Bill thought about this for a while. He finally asked the man,
    "Can I borrow your dog?"
    To which the man replied, "Get in line."

    A man was watering is lawn one day when he looked and coming up the street was two hearse's followed by a man, his dog and a single file line of about 200 men. The guy watering his lawn thought this was rather odd and decided to ask the first guy (with the dog) what was going on. The guy said "that's my wife in the first hearse, my dog bit her and she died". The guy watering the lawn said, "Oh, I'm terribly sorry to hear that, what about the second hearse?". The other guy said "well thats my mother-in-law, my dog also bit her and she died". The guy with the lawn thinks for a minute and says, "can I borrow your dog?". The guy with the dog responds, "Back of the line!".

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