Germs Jokes / Recent Jokes

Have you ever noticed people who cough/sneeze/do just about anything they can to spread their germs to everyone and everywhere? Well basically their theory is make germs like forwards. Try to get them around the world in 40 days or less. Lets try to get rid of these people rather then the avian virus before there is an epidemic. So to all those classmates who sit behind you and refuse to covertheir mouths-Good day to you all. In the words of Tiny Tim "and to all a good night."

A young couple were married and they were having sex all the time during their honeymoon, but when the honeymoon was over they had to adjust their sex schedule to their work schedule. so every day the husband would get home at 5 o'clock, and every day they would go to bed at 5:15. in the door at 5, in the sack at 5:15. this went on for months, never missing a day until the wife came down with the flu and went to the doctor to get a flu shot. the shot killed all the germs inside her except for three, and these three germs were huddled together inside her body talking over their survival plans. one germ said,' I am going to hide between two toes on her left foot, I don't think the antibiotics will find me there'. A second exclaimed,' I am going to hide behind her right ear, I don't think they'll find me there.' The last germ said,' I don't know about you guys, but when that 5:15 pulls out tonight, I'm gonna be on it!'

A father asked his son: "Why do you take the medicine before it's time? "
The son answered:" To surprise the germs! "

The Man's Strategy for Going to the Bathroom:

1) Walk slowly and proudly up to the bathroom, make sure everyone knows that is where you are headed.
2) Enter the bathroom, and quickly check out the whole room
3) Look for the right urinal. This is how to pick your urinal - There must be at least one urinal between you and the next closest person (on either side) to you, if this is not available, take the urnial next to the wall, beside a' safe looking' male. If this is also not available, glance at stalls, or leave bathroom, and return later, to get the right spot.
4) If proper urinal is available, approach urinal swiftly, looking straight ahead, never turning eyes or head. Another approach is to look at the floor, feet are always good as well.
5) Undo pants, relieve yourself as quickly as possible, keep head looking down (or eyes closed and head held looking up) this way no one will think you are trying to check them out.
6) Shake it off, put it back more...