Genuine Jokes / Recent Jokes

A blonde, vacationing in the depths of Louisiana, desperately wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes but refused to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
Becoming very frustrated with the 'no haggle' attitude of one shopkeeper, the blonde screamed, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"
"By all means, be my guest," the shopkeeper replied. "Maybe you'll even luck out and catch yourself a really big one!"
Now, more determined than ever, the blonde headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.
As the shopkeeper is driving home, later in the day, he spots the young woman waist deep in the water, shotgun in her hand. Just then, he sees a huge alligator swimming quickly towards her. She takes aim, kills the creature and, with a great deal of effort, hauls it onto the swamp bank. Nearby, there were several more of the dead creatures.
As the more...

1996 will be remembered for:
"The introduction of 'doggy bottles' for French diners so they can take the remainder of their Beaujolias home and not risk being over the drink-drive limit.
The decision by Stockholm transport authorities to use cheap Spanish wine to power 82 of their buses.
The marketing of genuine 'Lesbian-produced' wine in Germany, guaranteed to be untouched by male hands.
The recall of 30000 bottles of 1993 Chateau Mouton-Rothschild from America because protesters claimed the label - showing a delicate nude by the artist, Balthus - was 'an enticement for child abuse'.
And the invention in Japan of a woman's bra which features two little compartments for warming sake wine, one in each 'cup'."
"...Trolling the wine shelves in six countries this year, I have spotted absolutely genuine vintages labelled Chateau de Tremble, Buzbag, El Bollox, Coma, El Baterio, Latrun, Arses Rioja - you had a choice between white Arses, red Arses and more...

The Immense Consequences
The death under any circumstances of a member of the Royal Family would be
a cause for sadness. Had anyone made a list of those whose death might
have been anticipated, Princess Diana's name would have been last on it,
hence the worldwide shock and outpouring of grief: disbelief, anger,
analysis, sadness and perhaps the reluctant beginnings of acceptance.
Strong emotions would have been triggered had any Royal been even slightly
injured in an accident. The sudden, total loss of Diana, Princess of
Wales in a violent car crash is one of the greatest national tragedies to
befall Britain since the Second World War.
The memory of August 31, 1997 will long remain in people's minds: first
we saw the gruesome wreckage of the Mercedes after hitting an underpass
wall at high speed following a reckless chase through Paris from the Place
Vendome to the Pont De L'Alma. By strange twists of fate, the more...