Energy Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    CAT v.6.1b: Completely Autonomous Tester, Manufactured by MOMCAT
    User Installation and Maintenance Documentation:
    User Friendly
    Low Power CPU
    Self Portable Operation
    Dual Video and Audio Input
    Audio Output
    Auto Search Capability for Input Data
    Auto Search for Output Bin
    Auto Learn Program in ROM
    Instant Transition To Energy Saving Standby Mode When Not In Use
    Wide Operating Temperature Range
    Mouse Driven
    Self Cleaning
    Production Details:
    After basic KIT construction, the unit undergoes six weeks of
    onsite ROM programming and burn-in testing. Listed features are
    installed during this period. Since MOMCAT uses local suppliers,
    there may be a variation between individual units. Some of the
    units may not meet general standards. MOMCAT's quality assurance
    may reject inferior units. Users may sometimes salvage rejected
    units. Beware of Far East clones. These may violate more...

    MURALI KRISHNAN writes from New Delhi: A Sardarji and a Bengali, both suffering from serious diseases, share the
    same room in a hospital. They were violently ill and both could not even utter a word.
    After a few days of living together, the Bengali gets really bored and wants to start off a conversation with his fellow patient.
    He realizes that he has not enough energy left to say a sentence; so he just attempts to say a word.
    After much effort he turns to the Sardarji, points his finger towards himself and says “Bengali”.
    Sardarji doesn’t want to let the poor Bengali down who has struggled so hard to start a conversation.
    Sardarji musters all his energy and says “Punjabi” gesturing the same way as Bengali did.
    Bengali is happy now and wants to continue the conversation. After much more effort this time he says, again pointing his finger towards himself “Sharath Bose“
    Sardarji after some effort says “Devindar more...

    Allegedly a letter to the Home Economist:


    Mr. Gates' arguments may also be applied to the electricity utility business. If I were the head of Gates Gas & Electric, the first thing I would do is declare that we sell energy systems, not power, and that customers tell us that they want a familiar energy environment wherever they go

    The first step would be to integrate a smart fridge into the overall energy system as it is the first appliance opened by most users and real-time monitoring of beer temperature increases satisfaction with the energy environment for 78% of all customers

    Customers would be free to use other fridges, even making someone else's their default appliance. However, if they try to remove the Gas & Electric fridge their television and air conditioner might not function properly. When a circuit fails in an older home we would repair it with a' service pack' that also installs our fridge, eventually introducing all more...

    The Ultimate Scientific Dictionary

    Activation Energy: The useful quantity of energy available in one cup of coffee.

    Atomic Theory: A mythological explanation of the nature of matter, first proposed by the ancient Greeks, and now thoroughly discredited by modern computer simulation. Attempts to verify the theory by modern computer simulation have failed. Instead, it has been demonstrated repeatedly that computer outputs depend upon the color of the programmer's eyes, or occasionally upon the month of his or her birth. This apparent astrological connection, at last, vindicates the alchemist's view of astrology as the mother of all science.

    Bacon, Roger: An English friar who dabbled in science and made experimentation fashionable. Bacon was the first science popularizer to make it big on the banquet and talk-show circuit, and his books even outsold the fad diets of the period.

    Biological Science: A contradiction in more...

    Teacher: "Can you give me an example of wasted energy?"

    Willy: "Yes, ma'am, telling a hair-raising story to a bald-headed man."

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