Forgets Jokes / Recent Jokes
Two Swedish coal miners (Sven & Olaf) were down in the mine working. The noon whistle blew for lunch and Sven pulled out a thermos of hot coffee. Olaf looks at it and says, "Say, Sven, vat you got dere?"
Sven says, "Dis is a 2 quart termos bottle."
Olaf says, "Ya, I have to get me one."
That night Olaf goes home, but forgets what it is called. So the next day they are down in the mine working again and the noon whistle blows for lunch and Sven pulls out his thermos of hot coffee. Olaf looks at it and says, "Say, Sven, vat you got dere?"
Sven says, "Dis is a 2 quart termos bottle."
Olaf says, "Ya, I have to get me one."
That night Olaf goes home but forgets what it is called again. Well Olaf really wants one of these things. So he decides the next day when he asks he's going to write it down so he remembers what it is.
The next day they are down in the mine working again and the noon whistle blows more...
A man who forgets his wifes birthday is certain to get something to remember her by.
Doesn't know key to songs-$10
Doesn't know when to come in-$15
Modulates without informing band-$20
Continues singing in old key after song modulates-$30
Forgets original singer of song-$10
Dances great but sings off key and out of time-$30
Gets off key singing acapella-$200
Stands onstage but doesn't sing harmonies-$30
Sings bad harmonies-$35
Sings harmonies already contributed by band member in song-$40
Stops song halfway through and starts over-$25
Forgets to sing bridge-$20
Forgets words-$20
Sings verses out of order in song-$15
Makes up 4th verse to 3 verse song-$100
Holds words to song while singing onstage-$20
Looks at pager while singing song-$10
Sings consistently flat-$25
Sings consistently sharp-$25
Sings too softly-$5
Just plain ol' CANNOT SING, but buys band a round of drinks - No Charge
Sings "Stand By Your Man" in the key of A-$30
Wants to sing more...
10. The Hero and Heroine fall in love without first having a fight
9. The Hero doesn't sing "mere pyaari behana" to his sister, neither does she get raped nor does she get married off to some goon who ill treats her.
8. The Hero actually asks the Heroine to elope with him instead of confronting her father and finally winning him over.
7. The Hero's bachelor friends at work do not get to come home and enjoy a meal cooked by the newly wed bride, with one of them ogling at her with evil intentions.
6. Since the Hero and Heroine get married very early in the movie, they should have known that something was going to go wrong and should have taken due care.
5. The movie is called "Bombay" but we don't get to see even one overflowing electric train. (It is like Ice station Zebra with no Zebras around)
4. Hero/Heroine do not have enough friends or relatives for a final group shot.
3. The Hero's children are ignorant about religion because more...