Failing Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: Why did the blonde keep failing her driver's test?
A: Because every time the door opened, she jumped into the back seat.
Coach Walker enters the locker room and eyes one of his players. "Son, I hate to do this to you. I realize that you're the star of the team, but you're failing your classes and I can't let you play." "Give me a break, coach!" pleads the jock. "I'll tell you what - I'll ask you a question, and if you get it right, you can play... what is two plus two?" The jock counts on his fingers, "one, two, three,... The answer must be four!" "Did you say four?" asks the excited coach. "Sure did, Coach!" As the coach starts to jump and scream in excitement, the other members of the team can be heard begging, "Gee, come on coach, give him another chance!"
A ten year old boy was failing math. His parents tried everything from tutors to hypnosis, but to no avail. Finally, at the insistence of a family friend, they decided to enroll their son in a private Catholic school.
After the first day, the boy's parents were surprised when he walked in after school with a stern, focused and very determined expression on his face, and went right past them straight to his room, where he quietly closed the door.
For nearly two hours he toiled away in his room - with math books strewn about his desk and the surrounding floor. He emerged long enough to eat, and after quickly cleaning his plate, went straight back to his room, closed the door, and worked feverishly at his studies until bedtime. This pattern continued ceaselessly until it was time for the first quarter report card.
The boy walked in with his report card - unopened - laid it on the dinner table and went straight to his room. Cautiously, his mother opened it, and to her more...
REDMOND, WASHINGTON - In an effort to dispell confusion surrounding Microsoft's upcoming new version of Windows, Microsoft annouced today that it would rename the upgrade - formerly known as Windows 95 - to WinEver.
"There seemed to be a great deal of anxiety about when the product would ship. We felt it was in the best interest of our users to free them from this anxiety," said a Microsoft spokesperson who requested to remain anonymous.
Industry analysts were quick to praise the decision. "WinEver will free Windows users from space and time constraints. It also gives Windows a new timeless quality", said a member of Ziff-Davis Publishing's Editorial Staff. "This is precisely why OS/2 is failing in the marketplace - they have failed to deliver a strategy for their product."
When asked when WinEver would be available, a Microsoft spokesperson said "Whenever." The spokesperson added "It really doesn't matter since WinEver is more...
I'm failing geometry because I refuse to believe that pie are squared.