Industry Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Bill Gates compares the computer industry with General Motors
    At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."
    In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating (by Mr. Welch himself):
    If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
    For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.
    Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.
    Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
    Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall more...

    Now that Catherine Zeta-Jones-Douglas has become
    firmly established in Hollywood, and Charlotte
    Church is a well-known celebrity slapper in the UK,
    the Welsh film industry is to receive additional
    funding to step up production. They are going to
    remake many well known films, but this time with a
    Welsh flavour.
    The following are planned for release this year...
    * 9

    PCMCIA People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
    ISDN It Still Does Nothing
    APPLE Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
    SCSI System Can't See It
    DOS Defective Operating System
    BASIC Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control
    IBM I Blame Microsoft
    DEC Do Expect Cuts
    CD-ROM Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
    OS/2 Obsolete Soon, Too.
    WWW World Wide Wait
    MACINTOSH Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs
    PENTIUM Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of
    COBOL Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
    AMIGA A Merely Insignificant Game Addiction
    LISP Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parenthesis
    MIPS Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
    WINDOWS Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
    GIRO Garbage In Rubbish Out
    MICROSOFT Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only (for)
    Fools (&) Teenagers.

    Humorous Computer-Related Acronyms


    I Blame Microsoft

    Idiots Buy Me

    Idiots Building Machines

    I'll Buy Macintoshes

    It Bit Me

    It Built Microsoft

    It's Better Manually

    I've Been Mislead

    I've Been Mugged


    Well, It Never Does Operate With Speed

    When I Need Data Output Without Speed

    While Idle, Needs DX or WorkStation

    Will Install Needless Data On Whole System


    Whoppingly Immense NOP

    Worm Infestation Netware


    My Solitaire With Its New De-accelerator, Only With Some Network Technology

    Well Intended, Netword De-accelerator, Only Works Sometimes, Never Totally

    WINDOWS (as a) Network Trojan

    Different Operating Systems Expectations

    Macintosh: What You See Is What You Get

    MS-DOS: You Asked more...

    PCMCIA - People Can`t Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms. IBM - I Blame Microsoft. ISDN - It Still Does Nothing. MICROSOFT - Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers. RAM - Rarely Adequate Memory ROM - Really Old Machine APPLE - Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity. SCSI - System Can`t See It. PENTIUM - Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of Mathematics. LISP - Lots of Infuriating Silly Parenthesis. DOS - Defunct Operating System.

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