Eyesight Jokes / Recent Jokes

A middle-aged woman looks in the mirror.
"God, I look old, fat and ugly," she says to her hubby. "Pay me a compliment, dear."
Her hubby says, "Your fucking eyesight's good!"

"Yes," said Sam, "I saw him plainly take the goods."
The lawyer asked Sam again, "Sam, this happened at night. Are you sure you saw my client commit this crime?"
"Yes" said Sam, "I saw him do it."
Then the lawyer said, "Sam, listen, you are 80 years oldand your eyesight is probably pretty bad. Just how far can you see at night?"
Sam quickly replied, "I can see the moon, how far is that?"

"How was your golf game, dear?" asked Jack's wife Tracy.
"Well, I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight's gotten so bad I couldn't see where the ball went."
"But you're seventy-five years old, Jack!" admonished his wife, "Why don't you take my brother Scott along?"
"But he's eighty-five and doesn't even play golf anymore," protested Jack.
"But he's got perfect eyesight. He could watch your ball," Tracy pointed out.
The next day Jack teed off with Scott looking on.
Jack swung, and the ball disappeared down the middle of the fairway. "Do you see it?" asked Jack.
"Yup," Scott answered.
"Well, where is it?" yelled Jack, peering off into the distance.
"I forgot."

"How was your golf game, dear?" asked Jack's wife Tracy. "Well, I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight's gotten so bad, I couldn't see where the ball went." "You're seventy-five years old, Jack!" admonished his wife. "Why don't you take my brother Scott along?" "But he's eighty-five and doesn't even play golf anymore," protested Jack. "Yes, but he's got perfect eyesight and can watch your ball for you," Tracy pointed out. The next day Jack teed off with Scott looking on. Jack swung and the ball disappeared down the middle of the fairway. "Did you see where it went?" asked Jack. "Yup," Scott answered. "Well, where is it?" yelled Jack, peering off into the distance. "I forgot."

Two really old guys decided they would go out and try to play a round of golf together. They get on the first tee and the first old guy says to the second, "My eyesight isn't what it used to be. Can you watch my ball for me?".The second guy says, "Sure! I see fine. Go ahead and hit."So the first old man steps up to the tee and really hits it. He turns to his buddy and says, "Did you see it?"."Sure!", says his buddy."Where did it go?", the first guy asks. The second old man thinks for a minute and says, "I can't remember."