Tracy Jokes

"How was your golf game, dear?" asked Jack's wife Tracy.
"Well, I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight's gotten so bad I couldn't see where the ball went."
"But you're seventy-five years old, Jack!" admonished his wife, "Why don't you take my brother Scott along?"
"But he's eighty-five and doesn't even play golf anymore," protested Jack.
"But he's got perfect eyesight. He could watch your ball," Tracy pointed out.
The next day Jack teed off with Scott looking on.
Jack swung, and the ball disappeared down the middle of the fairway. "Do you see it?" asked Jack.
"Yup," Scott answered.
"Well, where is it?" yelled Jack, peering off into the distance.
"I forgot."

An old man, Mr. Goldstein, was living the last of his life in a nursing home.
One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed. Nurse Tracy asked if there was anything wrong.
"Yes, Nurse Tracy," said Mr. Goldstein, "My private part died today, and I am very sad."
Knowing her patients were forgetful and sometimes a little crazy, she replied, "Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Goldstein, please accept my condolences".
The following day, Mr. Goldstein was walking down the hall with his private part hanging out of his pajamas, when he met Nurse Tracy.
"Mr. Goldstein," she said, "you shouldn't be walking down the hall like that. Please put your private part back inside your pajamas".
"But, Nurse Tracy," replied Mr. Goldstein, "I told you yesterday that my private part died".
"Yes, you did tell me that, but why is it hanging out of your pajamas?" asked Nurse Tracy.
"Well," he more...

It was Tracy's first crossing, and he was assigned to a table with a suave Frenchman. The first night out, the Frenchman rose, bowed slightly, and said, "Bon appetit."Tracy got to his feet, bowed and said, "Tracy."
The following morning, at breakfast, then at lunch and again at dinner, the ceremony was repeated and Tracy found his politeness wearing a little thin. "It's beginning to annoy me," he told a companion in the lounge. "Same thing over and over: he tells me his name, Bon appetit, I tell him mine and we do it all over again at the next meal."
His companion, a bit more worldly than Tracy, laughed. "He's not introducing himself. Bon appetit is French for' good appetite.' He's hoping that you enjoy your meal."
Tracy felt pretty silly. The next morning when he appeared at breakfast, the Frenchman was already seated. Tracy bowed and said, "Bon appetit." Whereupon the Frenchman jumped up, bowed and answered, more...

"How was your golf game, dear?" asked Jack's wife Tracy."Well, I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight's gotten so bad, I couldn't see where the ball went.""You're seventy-five years old, Jack!" admonished his wife. "Why don't you take my brother Scott along?""But he's eighty-five and doesn't even play golf anymore," protested Jack."Yes, but he's got perfect eyesight and can watch your ball for you," Tracy pointed out.The next day Jack teed off with Scott looking on. Jack swung and the ball disappeared down the middle of the fairway. "Did you see where it went?" asked Jack."Yup," Scott answered."Well, where is it?" yelled Jack, peering off into the distance."I forgot."

"How was your golf game, dear?" asked Jack's wife Tracy.
"Well, I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight's gotten so bad, I couldn't see where the ball went."
"You're seventy-five years old, Jack!" admonished his wife. "Why don't you take my brother Scott along?"
"But he's eighty-five and doesn't even play golf anymore," protested Jack.
"Yes, but he's got perfect eyesight and can watch your ball for you," Tracy pointed out.
The next day Jack teed off with Scott looking on. Jack swung and the ball disappeared down the middle of the fairway. "Did you see where it went?" asked Jack.
"Yup," Scott answered.
"Well, where is it?" yelled Jack, peering off into the distance.
"I forgot."