Ditto Jokes / Recent Jokes
Similarities between the Titanic video and the Clinton grand jury testimony video:
Titanic: $9.99 on the Internet
Clinton: $9.99 on the Internet
Titanic: over 3 hours long
Clinton: over 3 hours long
Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, a subsequent catastrophe
Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, a subsequent catastrophe
Titanic: villian - White Star Line
Clinton: villian - Ken Starr
Titanic: Jack is a starving atrist
Clinton: Bill is a B.S. artist
Titanic: In one part, Jack enjoys a good cigar
Clinton: Ditto for Bill
Titanic: During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined
Clinton: Ditto for Monica
Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit
Clinton: Let's not go there
Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewelry
Clinton: Monica forced to return her gifts
Titanic: Behind the scenes, Leonardo DiCaprio is wildly popular
Clinton: Behind the scenes, Bill has a 70% approval more...
TITANIC VIDEO: $9.99 on Internet.
CLINTON VIDEO: $9.99 on Internet.
TITANIC VIDEO: Over 3 hours long.
CLINTON VIDEO: Over 3 hours long.
TITANIC VIDEO: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
CLINTON VIDEO: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
TITANIC VIDEO: Villain: White Star Line.
CLINTON VIDEO: Villain: Ken Starr.
TITANIC VIDEO: Jack is a starving artist.
CLINTON VIDEO: Bill is a B.S. artist.
TITANIC VIDEO: In one part, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
CLINTON VIDEO: Ditto for Bill.
TITANIC VIDEO: During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
CLINTON VIDEO: Ditto for Monica.
TITANIC VIDEO: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
CLINTON VIDEO: Let's not go there.
TITANIC VIDEO: Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
CLINTON VIDEO: Monica's forced to return her gifts.
TITANIC VIDEO: Behind the more...
Students were assigned to read two books, "Titanic" and "My Life",
by Bill Clinton.
One smart-ass student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories. His professor had a sense of humor and gave the student an A+ for his report:
Titanic: $29.99
Clinton: $29.99
Titanic: Over three hours to read
Clinton: Over three hours to read
Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and
subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.
Clinto n: Bill is a bullshit artist.
Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton: Ditto for Bill.
Titanic: During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton: Ditto for Monica.
Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton: Let's not go more...
Microsoft recently announced that the upcoming release 5.0 of Windows NT will be renamed' 'Windows 2000,'' which will presumably be abbreviated Win2K in the press. That got me to thinking about a comparison between Win2K and Y2K...
Win2K - Represents large problem for computers, looming in the near future.
Y2K --- Ditto.
Win2K - Projected to ship in mid 1999.
Y2K --- Projected to start causing problems in mid 1999.
Win2K - Real effects won't be known until sometime in the year 2000.
Y2K --- Ditto.
Win2K - Will cost corporations millions in support, upgrades, and time.
Y2K --- Ditto.
Win2K - Will result in a need to upgrade most hardware.
Y2K --- Ditto.
Win2K - Entire industry waiting for the product to slip...uh, ship.
Y2K --- Entire world waiting for solutions to ship.
Win2K - Many characterize it as being an evil plot created by programmers.
Y2K --- ditto.
Win2K more...
A Sardarji and his son who ran a modest motor spare-parts business won Rs. 50 lakhs in a lottery. They spent the money to expand the business to include spare-parts for imported cars. They placed orders with foreign firms and got invoices in return. They were foxed by the language: "Excel 929, two pieces. Price $90." The line beneath read: "Ditto, eight pieces, price $360."
They could not understand what "ditto" meant. So the father went to consult a friend who explained what the word meant. The father returned to his show-room and conveyed the meaning of the word to his son: "Main haan ullu da pqttha. ley toon hain ditto." (I am son of an owl and you are ditto).