Dennis Jokes / Recent Jokes

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Dennis!
Dennis who?
Dennis says I need to have a tooth out!

1. According to Movie Life magazine, Ann-Margaret would like to start having babies soon, but her husband wants her to wait awhile. Why? Paul Lynde: He's out of town

2. Dennis Weaver, Debbie Reynolds, and Shelley Winters star in the movie,' What's The Matter With Helen?' Who plays Helen? Charley Weaver: Dennis Weaver-that's why they asked the question

3. What are' dual-purpose cattle' good for that other cattle aren't? Paul Lynde: They give milk. .. and cookies, but I don't recommend the cookies

4. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant? Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant? 5. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex? Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car. The rest is up to him

6. Robert Young recently stated,' I never, never give. ..' something to his fans who ask for it. What? Paul Lynde: A hysterectomy

7. James Stewart did it over twenty years ago when he was forty-one more...

Dennis Rodman finds a bottle on the beach and picks it up...suddenly a female genie appears from the bottle.
"Master, I may grant you one wish." says the genie with a smile.
"Hey, Bitch... don't you know who I am... I don't need no woman give me nuttin!" barks Rodman.
The genie pleads..."But Master I must grant you a wish or I will be returned to this bottle forever."
Dennis thinks a moment... then grumbling about the inconvenience of it all... he says "Ok, ok... I wanna wake up with three women in my bed in the morning. So just do it!" (giving the genie an evil glare) "Now leave me alone!" he screams.
So the annoyed genie says, "So be it!" and disappears back into the bottle.
Next morning, he wakes up with Lorena Bobbitt, Tonya Harding, and Hillary Clinton. His penis is gone, his leg is broken, and he has no health insurance.

Dennis Rodman picked up a bottle he found on the beach and suddenly a genie appeared.
"Master," said the genie, "I may grant you one wish."
"Hey, listen bitch," Rodman yells, "don't you know who I am? I don't need no dumbass woman givin' me nuttin'."
"But Master, I must grant you one wish or I shall be returned to the bottle forever," the genie pleaded.
Dennis thought for a brief moment, then grumbled, "Okay, fine... I wanna wake up with three women in my bed in the morning."
Angry and hurt by his ungrateful attitude, the genie said, "So be it!" and disappeared back into the bottle.
The next morning Dennis woke up with Tonya Harding, Lorena Bobbitt and Hillary Clinton. His leg was broken, his penis was gone and he had no health insurance.

Why did Dennis Rodman get kicked out of the game?
Because his purse didn’t match his shoes.

A woman is picked up by Dennis Rodman in a bar. They like each other and she goes back with him to his hotel room. He removes his shirt revealing all his tattoos and she sees that on his arm is one which reads, “Reebok. ” She thinks that is a bit odd and asks him about it.
Dennis says, “When I play basketball, the cameras pick up the tattoo and Reebok pays me for advertisement. ” A bit later, his pants are off and she sees “Puma” tattooed on his leg.
He gives the same explanation for the unusual tattoo. Finally, the underwear comes off and she sees the word “AIDS” tattooed on his penis. She jumps back with shock.
“I’m not going to do it with a guy who has AIDS! ” exclaims the woman.
Dennis Rodman replies, “It’s cool baby. In a minute it’s going to say ‘ADIDAS. ’”

A woman is picked up by Dennis Rodman in a bar. They like each other and she goes back with him to his hotel room. He removes his shirt revealing all his tattoos and she sees that on his arm is one which reads, "Reebok". She thinks that's a bit odd and asks him about it. Dennis says, "When I play basketball, the cameras pick up the tattoo and Reebok pays me for advertisement." A bit later, his pants are off and she sees "Puma" tattooed on his leg. He gives the same explanation for the unusual tattoo. Finally, the underwear comes off and she sees the word "AIDS" tattooed on his penis. She jumps back with shock. "I'm not going to do it with a guy who has AIDS!" He says, "It's cool baby, in a minute it's going to say "ADIDAS".