Demons Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A writer died and St. Peter offered him the option of going to hell or to heaven. To help decide, he asked for a tour of each destination. St. Peter agreed and decided to take him to hell first. As he descended into the fiery pits, the writer saw row upon row of writers, chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they were repeatedly whipped with thorny lashes by demons. "Oh, my," the writer said, "let me see heaven."
    A few moments later, as they ascended into heaven, the writer saw row upon row of writers, chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they, too, were whipped with thorny lashes by demons.
    "Hey," the writer said, "this is just as bad as hell."
    "Oh, no it's not," St Peter replied, "here your work gets published!"

    Q: What do little ghosts drink?
    A: Evaporated milk.
    Q: Why do cemeteries have fences around them?
    A: Because people are dying to get in.
    Q: When do ghosts usually appear?
    A: Just before someone screams.
    Q: What should you say when you meet a ghost?
    A: ''How do you boo, sir? How do you boo?''
    Q: What's a ghost's favorite breakfast?
    A: Ghost toasties with booberries.
    Q: What's soft, moldy and flies?
    A: A spoiled bat.
    Q: What did the policeman say when a black widow spider ran down his back?
    A: ''You're under a vest!''
    Q: What happened to the monster that took the five o'clock train home?
    A: He had to give it back.
    Q: Why did the monster salute his vegetable soup?
    A: He looked in his bowl and saw a kernel of corn.
    Q: What would you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman?
    A: A dead ringer.
    Q: What did Dracula say then he saw a giraffe for the first time?
    A: I'd like to get to gnaw you.
    Q: Which more...

    Q: Where do ghosts take their dirty coats?
    A: To a dry-screamers.
    Q: What did the phantom on guard duty outside the haunted castle say when he heard a noise?
    A:' Halt! Who ghosts there?'
    Q: Why was the shy ghost frightened of going to the opticians' party?
    A: Because he thought he might make a spooktacle of himself.
    It was a graveyard romance. Boy meets ghoul.
    Q: What music do ghosts like?
    A: Haunting melodies.
    Q: How did the two ghosts fall in love?
    A: It was love at first fright.
    Q: On what day do ghosts play tricks on each other?
    A: April Ghoul's Day.
    Q: Where can you catch a ghost train?
    A: At a mainfestation.
    Q: Why did the female ghoul like demons?
    A: Because demons are a ghoul's best friend.
    Q: What do you call a female ghost who serves drinks and food on a' plane?
    A: An air ghostess.
    Some years ago I tried to become a ghost writer. But I couldn't find any ghosts who wanted me to more...

    How To Be A Cultist:

    Recently, the Society For Evil Overlords has noticed a regrettable
    decline in the availability and quality of fanatical henchmen, evil
    priests, and willing sacrificial victims. We wish to correct this
    growing problem by submitting the following general guidelines for

    1. Pick one faith and stay with it. Dilettantism is the mark of
    the amateur.

    2. Avoid needless embarrassment. Practice the correct
    pronunciation of your deity+s name in the privacy of your own room
    before chanting it in public. Flash cards are often helpful.

    3. Never invoke anything bigger than your head.

    4. Avoid all cabalistic jewelry over ten pounds in weight+ it
    attracts unwelcome attention from tourists, policemen, various
    supernatural creatures, and can be downright dangerous during

    5. Citronella candles may not be used in rituals. I cannot stress
    this more...

    Because demons are a ghouls best friend.

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